Dark Pixie's blog

Okay, so friday, I go to the urgent care place to see what's wrong with me, where I've been sick for, like, 2 weeks, But the lady who took me tells them about how I've been passing out for the last few months, and they're all "we can't take care of you. Go to the ER" So I go to the fucking ER, and they have no fucking clue what's wrong with me. Then this morning I get a call that another of my grandparents is dead. I cant take this shit.

I never admit to being sick. But this is sooo bad. I can't eat a damn thing without puking. My stomach hurts so bad at times, I just curl up and cry. I stayed home a couple of days last week, and went back this week. Now I have all that make-up work to worry about on top of all of this, cuz i sure as hell am not better. i just didn't want to fall any further behind. Someone shoot me.... idk why i just told ya'll this. I'm a whiny little bitch. sorry.

When my day comes,
Don't let my ghost see you cry.
I will leave you behind one day,
But I will love you. Just don't ask why
I left you. I don't know. I never know.
I'm sorry.

Am I the only one severely missing the Transmissions???? I need them..... I need them or I will explode... that happens to me sometimes.....

Anorexia
[x] You hate your body.
[x] You have starved yourself.
[x] You have low self esteem.
[ ] You use laxatives.
[x] You need to be skinnier.
[x] People always say you're skinny, but you think fat.
[] People think you are way too skinny. (I disagree with them)
[ ] You skip at least one meal a day.
[ ] You limit your calories or check them constantly by compulsion.
Total: 5

ADHD
[x] You are hyper most of the time.
[x] You barely pay attention to anything.
[x] You cannot cooperate with people well.
[x] You seem to never sit still.
[x] You talk all the time.
[x] You need attention 24/7.
[x] You aren't very shy.
Total: 7

Bipolar Disorder
[x] You can act wild at times then the next you are severely depressed.
[x] You are very irritable.
[] You barely get any or no sleep.
[ ] You have very high self esteem at times.
[ ] You are have used or abused alcohol, drugs, or sex.
[x] You have thought of/attempted suicide
Total: 3

15 stitches. Next time, I don't want them. They hurt so bad. Just let me bleed, people. I wouldn't have died, it would have just healed wrong. idgaf

"I never thought/ I'd die alone./ Laughed the loudest,/ Who'd have known?"
"So long and good night..."
"It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do. And if one day you can't reign it in, and of your last breath, you are the only witness, then so be it, cuz it's your last breath, and it's nobody else's business"
"No one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head"

I love you all. So long and good night.

I think that My Chem. should host a contest where people (AKA us) send in a design of our Killjoy jacket/vest and they chose the best. The people who designed the ones they picked get a free replica of theirs. They also sell those so people have more choices than just the four. Sign the petition (your Killjoy name, then your real name in parentheses) below if you like the idea.

1. Poison Pride (Alexa Forbes)
2. Pain Charm (Remy Roskin)
3. Crash Diamond (Josh Ramli)
4. Demolition Fire (Dallas Sumski)
5. Detonator Revolver (Emily Andreas)
6. Radio Star (Hannah Manabe)
7. Toxic Rose (Laura Godinez)
8. Mouse Powder! (Sabrina Michaelson)
9. Dynamic Deadbeat (Karina Bran)
10. Shadow Angel (Lena Martinez)
11. Toxic-Tyranny (Abbie J)
12. Party Danger (Caity Legg)
13. Harmony Knife (Maddy Tanswell)
14. Toxic Whisper (Taylor Morris)
15. Captain Cyanide (McKenzee Scrine)
16. Charcoal Coraline (Sasha Banaga)
17. Sunshine Gunner (Shelby Grooms)
18. Zero Storm (Suzanna D.)

Lately feeling disgusted with myself. I am 18, rely on others for my daily survival, have been with my current boyfriend for only a month and a half, and still have to go to college for 8 years so I can be a vet. So what do I increasingly find on my mind? Fucking annoying, keep-you-up-all-night, ruin-your-life-forever babies. I loathe small children outside of my family, especially if they are squalling. Why can't I stop imagining myself with one?! Ewwwwwwww.....