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"You're not normal and I've had enough"

Do you ever feel like no one understands? Do you feel numb and dead? Like you can't go on?
Well guess which bitch has been feeling like this lately?

Me.

So earlier this week I asked you guys about homeschooling and some other shit and how to deal with it and most of you guys said;
"Tell someone,"

Well, little-miss-me here, decided to tell her mother and ask to speak with her and father and it went....

Fucking awful.

First of all, it went something like this;

"So mum, can I speak with you and dad today? It's important?"

"What is it?"

"It's about...homeschooling,"

"Gosh Melissa, No! Just give it a rest! Whats wrong with you?"

"I-.."

"No!"

"Bu-.."

"No!"

"Mum plea-,..."

"I said No goddamit!!!"

I then continued trying to reason with her calmly until I lost my fucking cool and broke down in tears.

"You dont understand. I feel uncomfortable," I tried to explain but nooooo she just had to look me in the eye, raise her voice and say;

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What_The_F*ck Tumblr?

So guess what happens when you're off tumblr and internet in general for a week and then decide to come back ?...

You fucking have a feels-heart attack when you're back.

So as you guys probably noticed I wasn't really online much or even at all this week, which is odd for me considering I practically LIVE on the internet and tumblr and this site so you can imagine what happened when I went on tumblr a few hours ago...

All the posts made me smile, sob, giggle, tear up and then just.... mindfuck.

I'm really upset about the band probably (I'm still in denial sadly so I will continue to hope for a reunion) maybe won't get back together but then on the other hand I'm just so happy for the guys and happy that I have you guys and also I know this is a bit off topic but this week I did something I'm really proud of;

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Youtubers

So does anyone on here watch any of the following youtubers:
Shane Dawson
Danisnotonfire
Jacksgap
Lisbug?

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Thank you all so much!

Hey, so this is to all the rad guys who tried to help me out on my previous post so if you didn't see it you don't have to read this.

So to you guys who left comments giving me advice, thanks for all trying to help me out. It honestly means a lot and I love all you guys (sorry if that sounds creepy to you)
I think I'm gonna tell my sister first 'cause she used to help me with depression when I was younger (around 8 or 9) but she moved out but I'm seeing her on Wednesday so I'll try to explain it to her.

I just have 2 things to point out.

As far as going to the park , like Zankoku said, we don't have any in my town cause the only one in the whole country is out of town.
Though, I might stay with my sister this weekend and we usually go to the beach and botanical gardens and zoo out of town so I think I'll try and convince her to take me.
Thanks to Zankoku sinner for the idea.

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Please help me.

NOTE: This is not a self harm post therefore I am "NOT" breaking the rules. I'm simply explaining why I need help.
Thank you.

Hi guys, how've you been? Judging by the title, you can probably tell I'm not so great.
So this week has literally been SHIT!!!
I missed 2/3 days of school (Because I'm just a little shit like that) and my family was obviously no help considering I literally avoided them by locking myself in my room THE WHOLE DAY...No lie. I only went out once each day for food because whenever I'd leave, I'd get a panic attack. Yes guys.
It's come to this. I can't even be comfortable in my own goddamn house.
I cried every morning because I feel like a disapointment to everyone.
My parents, my teachers, my friends, heck, even God at times.
Seriously guys, I'm feeling like complete shit. I look in the mirror and insults fill my mind. I can't go a day without criticizing myself anymore.

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Bored

Okay so I'm really bored and decided to fix this by trying out some challenges kinda so, here we go;

YOUR LIFE AS MOVIE [SOUNDTRACKS]

So here's what you do;
1.Go to your music player
2.Put it on shuffle
3.For each scene, press the next button and so on.
DON'T CHEAT!!

Here's what I got;

Opening credits:
I'm not Okay - My Chemical Romance

Waking up:
My immortal- Evanescence

First Day of school:
Animal I have become

Falling In Love:
Ghost of you- My Chemical Romance

Fighting:
Thank you for the venom- My Chemical Romance

Breaking Up:
I don't love you- My Chemical Romance

Prom:
Lithium-Evanescence

Life is good:
Bring me to life- Evanescence

Mental Breakdown:
The bird and the worm- The Used

Driving:
Carnival of rust- poets of the fall

Flashback:
Crooked teeth- Deathcab for Cutie

Making Up:
Chandelier- Sia

Wedding:
Black- Pearl jam

Birth Of Child:
Don't panic- Coldplay

Night before war:

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Reading and leeds

I saw this on tumblr a while back and realized how awesome it would be if when Gerard is performing at reading and leeds we hear;

You like D&D , Audrey Hepburn,
Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet.
You can't swim, you can't dance, and
you don't know karate. Face it, you're
never gonna make it.
I don't want to make it... I just
wanna....

And then it begins,...
The MCR reunion.
I know it's a stupid dream but seriously, how awesome would it be?

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Hello My lovely family

Hello there, everyone?
How's my family going?

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My day and thoughts

Hey guys, how've you been?
I've been feeling pretty much shitty because of obvious reasons (school)
But again with my rant about...
SOCIETY!! YAY! (not really)

Okay so this is kinda just me looking for a place to air my dirty laundry and seek some advice, seeing as it actually helped a little last time and I have so much pepped up emotion that it's just....UGHKSDIKKLPXS!!

So 1# :
Social standards and expectations.

So hey guys, you know that moment when you're just seated in class minding your own business when you hear laughs and giggles and decide to look up only to see the "perfect pretty new girl" enjoying herself, chatting with almost everyone in class and notice you're the only one who's seated alone?
Well, welcome to the sad little world of Melissa.
It's pretty much ;get up, go to school, get weird looks and glares, take your seat and then realize you're sitting alone.
This literally happens everyday....

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Boredom strikes again.

Hey guys, so I was just scrolling through the blogs when I finally found something to do, Yay!
Hope you guys will try this out too.

1) Favorite food?
Pizza, ice cream and oreos

2) Best childhood memory?
Hmmm... Well, not really childhood
but 2 years or so back, me, my
family and brother in law went
to pick my sis up at the airport
and my brother in law, my brother
and I decided to buy chocolate
and play hide and seek and
other games in the
airport as we waited for my sis
and we did that for like 2 hours
so, yeah.. Oooh and it was nice
and cold at 3am.

3) Favorite animal?
Pandas or dogs

4) Favorite color?
Blue or green

5) Top 3 movies?
Uughhh so many to choose from.
Okay uhm,
1# - Matrix (part 1 &2 only)
2# - Constantine
3# - The internship

6) Top 5 musical artists/bands?
YES FINALLY!! Okay...