Cyanide Flame's blog

There was so much ‘hate’ on MCR lately (may not specially here but in general). Like Gerard being fat or an asshole and things like that. You know, it fucking gets on my nerves.
It’s okay when someone's a fan but that doesn’t give them the permission to make fun of them or fret over them all the time.
They just need to stop complaining all the time and find something better to do, it really is annoying.
If you don’t have to say anything nice, you just don’t say anything at all, right? So they should shut the fuck up.
Because I’m really sick of it. They shouldn't pick out every failure and shove them into other people’s throats. And shouldn't infect others with their bad mood.

So, if you don’t like them, don’t listen to them and stop caring or talking about them, that’s so simple.

Btw, making pages like “Reasons to hate the MCRmy” or “Get Gerard Way out of MCR” are absolutely unnecessary and disgusting.

To everyone who feels accosted, piss off.

I had a crush on a classmate since the first semester for half a year but I knew he didn’t like me. Then during the christmas holidays I had a dream about him, knowing I had a crush on him and he liked me back, too. This dream was awesome.
Then back at school when I saw him again I felt completely nothing, all those feelings were vanished without a trace. Feels much better.

Thank you, brain. I love you ♥

I just wrote two applications for my work experience in a kindergarten
i hope one of them will take me
i love kids :)

I bought "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge" two days ago. I only knew "Helena", "I'm Not Okay" and "Ghost Of You", I've never heard another song from this album.
Now that I know every song, I became so addicted, oh my God. This ain't even normal. Yesterday night when I was in bed I really wanted to listen to the songs but I couldn't, it was like a cold turkey, seriously. Now that I listen to the songs again I feel so good, this album is PERFECT.
WHY DIDN'T I BUY THIS EARLIER?

Last year on Valentine’s Day our school’s student representation decided to let the students give away roses to the people they were in love with.
I weren’t very popular, quite the opposite. I were a total outcast and most of the people in my class hated me, especially two girls. They bullied me all the time even during the lessons but our teachers never noticed. Once they pulled it so far that i was really really down and then my mum yelled at me at home and it all was just too much so i just ran into my room and started crying like never before and my best friend called me and I just cried my fucking eyes out.
Then on valentines day there was this rose on my fucking table and I just wanted to throw it out my window because I knew these girls were trolling me. I was looking at the card and there was just “Kevin Z.” written on it. I only knew one Kevin Z. from this school at it was one of those girl’s boyfriend. I’ve never hated them more. The whole class noticed it.

Today I was walking outside with my best friend and she was telling me about her schoolmate. She was like “He was in a relationship with Jacky, she’s maybe a bit extreme but very talented and nice but now he’s with this little talentless, good-for-nothing, depressed Miss I-love-to-complain.”
Me: “Oh, then she’s just like me, haha.”
She: “But you’re not depressed.”
Me: “Oh well, yeah right, sure…”

I just got a letter from church for my catholic confirmation.
I don't want to do that, I never wanted. I'm literally crying right now.
When I opened the letter and saw the content i felt like my heart skipped a beat
I feel so sick right now... I want to talk to my mum that I don't want to do it but she will never understand me. I already tried to talk to my parents but my father doesn't accept my descision and my mum pretended to listen but she just doesn't. They never do.
My father will fucking kick me out, I don't know what to do, seriously...
You may say it's not a big deal but for me it is, it's so hard if you have a completely different sight of the world than your parents.
I DON'T WANT TO. Help, oh my God, what am I supposed to do now, I don't even have TIME for a confirmation, I'm doing my apprenticeship and ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!

[I made this :3 ->]

[Good Charlotte - Hold On]

This world, this world is cold
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad, you’re feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know

Your days, you say they’re way too long
And your nights, you can’t sleep at all
Hold on
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for, but you don’t want to no more
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for, but you don’t want to no more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking, you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching, it’s not over
Hold on

What are you looking for? What are you waiting for?

OMG. Yesterday evening (or more like today 2am) I was tumbling as usually and then I klicked a link (on tumblr!!). In the picture was a colorful keyboard and it said when you type your name you can hear drum sounds. I already knew that and I thought it was cool so i klicked it. And then a screen appeared, I couldn't even see my windows taskbar anymore, I couldn't do anything. The text said that a company called GEMA which works closely with the law found illegally downloaded music on my computer and they blocked it. I was in shock. I had to pay 50 euros otherwise they would send me to jail for at least 3 years. I turned off my computer and turned it on again but the screen was still there. So i finally turned it off and went to my mum who was talking to my aunt who came to visit us with my uncle. I didn't dare say anything because I didn't want my aunt to know anything. So I was just quiet. Then today morning I woke up with the terrible feeling that I have to pay 50 euros.

Now that I see all these pictures of My Chemical Romance with fans in New Zealand makes me want to meet them really bad.
But also I'm too scared to meet them because I'm afraid they will laugh at my crappy english, be annoyed by my awkward behaviour when I'm around them and think I'm ugly.
I think they wouldn't do that but I'm so scared anyway.