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Boring night

My dads' friend gave me a black Ibanez guitar. Dunno why people are so nice to me ^^ just made 2 songs (anti- sentimental, bitches), called Carnivore Fair and Real Threats.

Isn't Conventional Weapons coming out tomorrow? I think I saw something on Franks' tumblr.. Hmm. Haven't seen any spastic blogs on #CW ^^

Peace, love, masturbation and french fries,
May my weird love be with you all.
~Corpse

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Tonight

I hate you. And you have to understand that I rarely, in my lifetime, hate anyone. I hate your joy, I hate your insecurities, your pains, your uncertainty of your future. I even hate the glow in your eyes whenever you rejoice at the petty achievements you've accomplished.

You just want to be an artist. You plan on starving yourself on the living room floor, surrounded by your paints and canvasses, and I also hate that all you find death your most awaited artwork.

I hate that you have failed your parents several times again and again, and yourself even more. I hate that you believe that "things will eventually fall into place", because when they don't, you just break down and cry.

You have to understand that I rarely, in my lifetime, hate anyone. And you have taught me to hate you.

From: me
To: me

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Carly Rae Jepsen

How in the hell do you miss someone before they came into your life?
Thank God for MCR.

~End Rant~

Some days I wanna light myself in fire so my crush would say hi to me.

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Grrr

I woke uo from a nap really pissy cos I had a dream that when I checked into the site, MCR had released a new song with a new video. It was only just a dreaaaaam (nelly cross reference much?)

Sucks. I was so happy! Haha!
I also got my braces adjusted today, so my face hurts like fuck. It feels like someone made me gnaw on rocks and my teeth cracked up. I want to kill my face cos everything hurts so much.

12:29 in the Philippines and I just wanted to say hi. Hi guys. Hi.
-Corpse

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HEY MCR It's October! :D

I'm itching to hear the first two released!!! ^^

Every album I get to feel like I belong in this world and no one can touch me, and when it ends, I don't feel so week. I feel awesome and I can take on anything.

I have a strong feeling the next album's going to change my life for the 5th time. Anyone else got that feeling?
~Corpse

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Awkward

"Oh my god, I hate you. Why are you doing this to yourself again?!"

That's what my friend said when he saw this big maroon-ish slit on my arm.
I started laughing because the truth was my dog, Mozart, got excited and accidentally scratched me. It did look like one of the scars I had when I used to cut myself tho, so I don't blame him.

I tried to explain to him the truth then he just shoved my arm away and said "Don't do this to yourself, Jonina! I love you girl!"

I stopped laughing and I said "I don't. And I love you too."

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I think I found my soul mate

SO field trip was today, I have a friend, Carlos, we listened to my phone's playlist, and I usually don't let people hear it cos' it's mostly rock and sad songs (hehe) and people just end up getting bored. But I let him hear EVERYTHING, as in EVERYTHING, and he loves EVERYTHING.

From MCR, to Falling in Reverse, to The Fray, to everything in my phone. I love him so much more now. We cuddled on our way to and from the destination. I can relate to him cos people tease him for being gay, and I used to be bullied cos I was weird. And we're both artists! I understand EVERYTHING he tells me, like we have our own language or something.

We're just 2 artists in Manila, struggling to be something. Somehow we wound up together.
Pure friendship. ^^

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OH MY FUCKING

IT'S OCTOBER WHICH MEANS WE GET TWO SONGS FROM CONVENTIONAL WEAPONS HOLY FUCKING COW BELLS YOU FUCKING FUCKTARDS I THINK I JUST SHIT MY PANTIES BECAUSE CONVENTIONAL WEAPONS WHAT THE FUCK I CANNOT CALM MY TITS.

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I drank, I sang, I conquered

I sang "C'mon" by Panic at the Disco feat. Fun at my sister's debut :)) It was so fun!! :D Forgive the irrelevant ukulele, that was my dads. I used it only for vanity purposes. I used a 6 string acoustic for my performance. People (yes, humans) actually liked me, so that must've meant I did something right.

My mom was right buying me that dress. People actually thought I looked like a girl that night :)) kidding.
~Corpse

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I was at a park

Practicing on a park bench with my guitar a couple of hours before a performance when this German lady and her baby boy walked up to ma. "He likes music", she said. I sang "The Green Gentleman" for the kid who seemed to be dismissive and curious at the same time. I talked with the lady for a while.

I never got her name. Just had to share that cos... I have never talked to a German person ever :)) I know it's so lame of me, but I live in a boring town in the Philippines, so I don't see foreigners often.

She was nice and wished me luck on my performance before leaving me alone on the bench with my guitar.
-Corpse