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Internet friends are real friends too

Hey guys,
I've been thinking recently, no one believes me when I tell them who my best friend has come to be, just because I met her on this site. It's really rough, when I feel so connected to someone who lives 1171 miles away. You know who you are, and I'm sorry if I sound creepy. My friends at home aren't the same. I love them, but there's only so much I can tell them. It's really special to find someone with so much in common who accepts me for me. Whenever I need someone, I know she's there and I really hope she know I'm always there for her.

what's the point

What's the point of life? It's boring, lonely, sad, depressing, and old. I'm not sure what to do with myself, every day is the same thing. Every day. What am I supposed to do?
- Z


I just posted here a few hours ago, but here I am at 1:53 AM, feeling like shit. Why? Cause I'm worthless. I'm hideous. I'm revolting. I'm disgusting. I'm just a fucking demented, distorted emo kid who locks herself in her room all day every day. I'm a freak. The other kids are right, I am a fucking weirdo. One day I feel fine, the next I'm like this. I hate myself. I'm so negative, but there's not much I can do about that now, because I hate myself. I hate myself. I HATE MYSELF. Why do I have to be like this? Why is there a swarm of hate in me every damn day? Why does it have to be me?


I think I'm just having a bad day. I really miss MCR. I'm listening to disenchanted (live version) and GERARD WAY YOU ARE NOT HELPING IN THE SLIGHTEST! They made me who I am today and I never got the chance to thank them. One of my best friends, I met her here on this site. And she's done so much for me. I don't know. I'm in that mood again. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but it feels like the list goes on and on and on. I feel so hideously disgusting again. I though I wasn't going to have to feel like this again, but here we go. What the fuck am I going to do?

There's a girl...

Hey guys. So, I already posted today, but oh well.
As I said before, I just entered high school. And I already met a girl I'm beginning to like "in that way." she has red hair and glasses, and when I first met her she was wearing a Green Day shirt (Metallica today). I don't know what it is, but I feel this pull towards her. I'm not sure if I should act on it or not. For now, I'm planning on just being friends for a while, so I can get a better feel for weather she's lesbian or some variation or straight. Any advice on how to find out if she's gay? Ask her out yay or nay and when?
- Z

Long Time No Post... What's Up?

Hey there, MCRmy. This is Z :3 I haven't really been on all summer. Ops. But now I'm back in school, my freshman year at the public high school. So I'll be on here a ton now. Any recs for good MCR fics?
I'm actually doing okay for once. I get these periods of times, where (this is a secret of mine, but since I know none of you in person I'll say it) I feel REALLY masculine. To the point where I question my gender and wonder why I'm in a girl body instead of a male one. And then there are days like today when I'm a slightly masculine female. This is what feels normal.


Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear ray
Happy birthday to you

To a guitar god, you ROCK!!!!! Love ya Ray :))

Dyed my hair

It was pillarbox red by manic panic. Didn't turn out very red, more orange as you can see. It's okay I don't mind it for the time being, but soon I'n dying it RED. can't wait, love dying hair :)

Warped Tour!!!

Yesterday was warped tour and it was SO AWESOME!! Tons of people were wearing MCR merch :3 I also got involved in a circle pit, mosh pit, wall of death (for The Used, so fun!), and crowd surfed twice. I got to see bands I look up to and run around with hardly any clothes on yay! Only bad thing was this old guy stuck his hands up my bikini top and I didn't notice for a while and then I did and was all like "what the fuck you doing there?" and ran away but it's hard to run away from someone when they have their hands up your shirt :( excluding the last con, BEST FUCKING DAY EVERRRR!

Eating feels... Wrong

Hey guys.
So I had an eating problem similar to anorexia about 7 months ago. And I think it's coming back. I've been super depressed and I get so mad at myself when I eat more than 700 calories. I can't stand how fucking fat I am and I wish I could just tear it all off of my body. I hate myself and I don't know what to do :(