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chpeverill-conti's blog

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Hey guys,
So I recently put my finger on what I've been feeling since 6ish grade. I am gender queer. Today at WAGLY (my GSA) I said my pronouns were they/them/their. It felt so great to get that out in such a safe environment.
Today I tried to bind with an ace bandage, but then it hurt too much so I had to take it off :(
Because of this, I think I'm going to get a REAL ftm binder. Does anyone know of any good brands? I use amazon. I know about underworks but I want to look at all my options.
Anyways, it's been so great to express myself.

X marks the spot

Today is my birthday and I'm hanging out with friends. I should be happy. But I'm not. I feel as though I've been marked with a big black X.This always happens to me, I end up feeling like shit and I wish I didn't have to think.
- Z

Spanish thoughts 9/12

I'm in Spanish class and mega bored, so why not be productive and post a bog. What are you guys up to, and how are you? But honestly, no pretending you're OK. Are you really OK? If you are or aren't, I don't care. I still want you to inbox me. I want to make sure you all know that you matter to me. Every single one of you. If you're having a rough day or need someone to talk to, I'm always here. The MCRmy helped me, so I'll help every last revenger. Never forget that you're strong and asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of wanting to get better.

User name change/what's up

Hey guys,
Is there any way I can change my username on this site? I want it to be my killjoy name (Cosmic Constellation) But If you can change the user name, can someone please tell me how? Thanks :)
My friend set me up on a blind double date (herself, Her boyfriend/my best friend, and one of her friends she thinks I'd be good with) for friday. I'm talking to the girl now. Her name is Monica, and she's actually really cool. She likes Aerosmith and the Ramones, crafty like me, and also pretty nerdy with love of HP and musicals. We have a lot in common, and I like her.

In honor of Mikey's birthday

Since it is Mikey's birthday, here I am in school dressed like him, glasses and all. Even though I don't usually wear them. Happy birthday!
- Z

My crush likes me!!!

Around last May, I was in a band with my friend. Apparently I was really obvious about liking her (like, kids were betting on it obvious) and long story short, we kissed. Now, I still like her and I just found out that she STILL likes me!
I was texting her friend, and she said "Are you ___'s girlfriend?" "I think she likes you." and "you should ask her out." I've been trying to ask her out for a while now but she's always SUPER busy. She lives 30-45 mins away from me and is always at school or work.

Mission Achived.

Guess what's stuck in my mom's head? I don't love you. Guess what was stuck in her head yesterday? To the end. I have accomplished something. Yay :)

Internet friends are real friends too

Hey guys,
I've been thinking recently, no one believes me when I tell them who my best friend has come to be, just because I met her on this site. It's really rough, when I feel so connected to someone who lives 1171 miles away. You know who you are, and I'm sorry if I sound creepy. My friends at home aren't the same. I love them, but there's only so much I can tell them. It's really special to find someone with so much in common who accepts me for me. Whenever I need someone, I know she's there and I really hope she know I'm always there for her.

what's the point

What's the point of life? It's boring, lonely, sad, depressing, and old. I'm not sure what to do with myself, every day is the same thing. Every day. What am I supposed to do?
- Z


I just posted here a few hours ago, but here I am at 1:53 AM, feeling like shit. Why? Cause I'm worthless. I'm hideous. I'm revolting. I'm disgusting. I'm just a fucking demented, distorted emo kid who locks herself in her room all day every day. I'm a freak. The other kids are right, I am a fucking weirdo. One day I feel fine, the next I'm like this. I hate myself. I'm so negative, but there's not much I can do about that now, because I hate myself. I hate myself. I HATE MYSELF. Why do I have to be like this? Why is there a swarm of hate in me every damn day? Why does it have to be me?