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chpeverill-conti's blog

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I CAN"T FUCKING GO

I can't go to school. I can't, I just can't. It's not even because it's valentines day. I'm just not up for it, the stress, the doing work. The risk of feeling good. I don't want to feel good today, I don't deserve it and I don't want it. Can I please just live in a hole where I just isolate forever? I CAN'T DO IT!!!! Let me go, I don't want to get better right now.It's pointless, I'll just end up down again anyways.
- Z

I CAN"T FUCKING GO

I can't go to school. I can't, I just can't. It's not even because it's valentines day. I'm just not up for it, the stress, the doing work. The risk of feeling good. I don't want to feel good today, I don't deserve it and I don't want it. Can I please just live in a hole where I just isolate forever? I CAN'T DO IT!!!! Let me go, I don't want to get better right now.It's pointless, I'll just end up down again anyways.
- Z

I don't wanna fall in love

that's a great green day song. I just don't want to get caught up in all the complicated bull shit that comes with a relationship. Yet, I find myself in one. I wish I wasn't , but I don't want to hurt her... also I feel like I owe it to her after I sent her all these mixed signals. I don't know what to do anymore.
- Z

Feeling a little better.

I'm sitting in a study with my friend Katie, and I'm feeling less anxious, a little better. I'm not 100% at the moment, but I doubt that day will ever come and there's nothing wrong with that.
Inbox me any time
xoxo
- Z

I Want To Be Alone

I don't like people today. I just want to be alone and isolate. Can't stand social anxiety. I'm at school, and I don't have a hood so I can't curl up :(
- Z

Well. Here I am, at school.

And it sucks.
It's more than I don't want to be here at this point, more than just not liking school. It's knowing that I could be doing something better and more productive. I've always been really into activism. REALLY into activism. I want to change something that's wrong, it's what I need to do. But I can't do anything locked up in a fucking brick box all day! One minuet I'll be in a rage at school for limiting me and the next I'll be depressed because I want to help the world.

Can't take it

I can't take it right now, I was in algebra but I just can't do it! My mind is all over the place, cramps fucking kill. I know I should be using skills to make myself feel better, like I learned in the partial hospitalization program, but it's much easier said than done I really don't think this school is right for me, maybe if I don't go tomorrow it'll help. I feel like such an outsider here. I have friends but they just don't seem to get what I'm going through.

First day back

I'm back at school. After 21 school days absent, I'm back. And shit, I am wicked nervous. I just wanna get out of this fucking place nothing matters anyways. I don't wanna....
- Z

WARPED TOUR

I GOT MY FUCKING WARPED TOUR TICKETS SO FUCKING EXCITED CAN'T MAIT OH MY GERARD!!!
- Z

For the love of XxstraightjacketxX, reblog

Straightjacket, we miss you so much please come back and talk to us again, I miss you so much and you've touched so many hearts. You've helped me through so much, please let us help you. Please, you're my best friend

COSMIC CONSTELLATION (Z)

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