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dull kind of day

it is raining and i am sad. i do't have much motivation to do much of anything right now.
I was going to go to the library but its raining too hard.
i was going to find a way to recycle my old, ripped up and stitched back together jeans (any ideas?) but i dont know what to do with them.
i need to have lunch in 34 mins. not that anyone is counting.
math class was pretty dull. its a two hour class. we talked more about how to print our homework from the computer program we use. for an hour we talked about that. the other hour, we did two practice tests and talked about subtraction.
i burnt

I'm an adult child who may have OCD????

Hi, I haven't been on in a week or something or maybe it's been a couple days, I don't know.

Depression feels a little more manageable, and I really want to get better right now.I have 4 classes going on right now, and I intend on getting at least B's on ALL of them. If I'm in depressed and treatment for the whole semester, that's not going to happen. But my meal plan is being far from completed right now...

I've never wanted to grow up, but now I'm 19. I'm *technically* an adult.

Back to school, back to treatments

Hey guys
Class in ten mins. I have English lab then sociology.
Just wanted to give an update, I haven't been online in a while. Things have been rough. I've been depeessed, and I'm back in IOP for eating disorder treatment. It's not going too well. I had two nights of it, and one of them I nearly finished dinner. Last night, I had to do a supplement. And I couldn't even finish that... but I got close.
I'm worried that they'll put me in partial (a level above where I am now). If they do that I can't go to classes.


i haven't been online in a while
been sorta depressed. makes doing anything a chore. its hard for me to even get together with my boyfriend or get out of the car after going somewhere.
i really like the band choking victim. they are ska punk. check them out!
started a new sewing project, as i got my very own sewing machine for xmas. i'm making a dress with black and white flowers on it. i cut out the pattern and ironed everything yesterday. not i'm going to cut out the fabric and begin sewing today. it's a snow day. we are expected 8-12 inches? i think?
thats all for now
love ya's

sorry ive been gone!!!!

sorry i havent been online much. been spending more time on HEXrpg, a harry potter role play site. wanna get back into this though
got a B+ in psych :)
nearly finished the overalls ive been sewing. just need to make button holes
had to get rid of jack the dog after 5 days, he was too anxious and my other dog did not like him
going to florida for xmas

art and inspiration playlist

I made a playlist to listening to when I'm arting. however, it has 154 songs and I'm not posting all of those so here's the highlights:
1. searchlight - aurora
2. cardiac arrest - bad suns
3. i still think - darren criss
4. shit luck - days n daze
5. sex changes - dresden dolls
6. she's so high - everclear
7. anne arbour - the get up kids
8. normal - the homeless gospel choir
9. sellout song - johnny hobo and the freight trains
10. the beer - kimya dawson
11. from here to utopia - pat the bunny
12. Áîãî›îäèöà, Ïóòèíà ï›îãîíè - pussy riot

theres just a few songs from it
thanksgiving was fine.

more dog, thanksgiving, boredom

hey fellas
rainy day. been making patches all day. hanging out with salsa (thats what we call her) today I hope. we're planning on going to the thrift store. I have a pre-adoption consult on next Friday to help me figure out what type of dog would fit my needs, my disability, my activity level, ect. the woman i talked to suggested i either meet jack the dog and not adopt him without going home and thinking about it or putting off meeting jack until after the consult. I think I want to meet jack decide about getting him later.

Maybe found dog???

I have news.
I think we may have found a dog to train as a service dog! His name is Jack. He's 10 months old. He's an Australian Shepard. We talked to his breeder and she had really good things to say about him and he's already been to some obedience classes. If Jack works out, all we'd have to do left is register him, get his vest and an "in training" patch, and find a specialized trainer. I'm excited. I think a dog like this would really help me.
More good news, I only noticed dissociating less than 4 times in the past 5 days or so!!! It really fluctuates but this week has been ok.


i guess there will be two posts in a row from me cause you guys gotta pick up the pace! if this were i posting competition id totally be kicking your asses.
puppy update: Spencer's mountain emailed us back. they're exclusively an aussie breeder.they said they have a litter due around december 2nd! and they do do screenings for genetic mutations and all the weird eye problems Australian shepherds can get. like having no eyes, cataracts, or missing part of the pupil.

what i know and what i dont

i know i am in my room
i know i am z
i know its killjoys anniversary
i dont know whos lying next to me
i know it's dylan but im confused
im confused because i don't know who it is
i know where i am but i dont really
i know im not dissociating
i think im floating, not present
i want to hit something to know its real