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chpeverill-conti's blog

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too fucking clean

life is too clean and i cant fucking stand it i want everything to be dirty and messy and chaotic maybe i've been listening to too much black flag and shit but i feel maddened. i need to make shit dirtier but dont know how fuck maybe ill spray paint some shit that helps usually or make art thats good too
class in half an hour
xoxoz

places i'd like to live

a crackhouse without the crack
a commune
the streets (by choice)
a field of straw or hay
between a pair of breasts
in a barn i'm squatting in illegally
a music shop
my car
a dumpster
my best friend's house
in a good graphic novel
hogwarts
my own womb
a spider web (i'd be the spider)
tara (gone with the wind)
a freight train going who knows where
a shitty apartment

xoxoz

what the fuck

reading funny journial entries from a few years back. ive been journialing since i was 11 and im 19 now.

march 8, 2015
(please note we were 100% sober)
didn't write about girls night yesterday. we went to nick's pizza. (redacted name) and i peed in a walgreen's parking lot, behind a dumpster. we went to sudburry farms. (redacted name) and I rode in those kiddie carts where there's a police car built into the front end of the cart for kinds to play in. I fit nicely. Fun times :)

3/14/2012 (13 years old)
hopes and dreams lsit: get (recdacted name) to be my friend again. get a girl friend.

spam bots

fucking spammers are at it agian
xoxoz

lets bring it back

everyone did this on this site in like 2014. why not bring it back!

So here's what you do;
1.Go to your music player
2.Put it on shuffle
3.For each scene, press the next button and so on.
DON'T CHEAT!!

Here's what I got;

Opening credits:
Rockabilly Impending Deathfuture - days n daze

Waking up:
you're so creepy (acoustic) ghost town

First Day of school:
panic song - green day (haha)

Fighting:
we're slytherins! - draco and the malfoys

Breaking Up:
F - mindless self indulgence

Prom:
pull your own weight - veara

Life is good:
fly with me - jonas brothers

Mental Breakdown:
planet of the apes -

home alone this weekend - fun ideas?

hey guys

so here's the situation: parents are out for the weekend. just me at home for the weekend. what should I do with my time? any ideas? and don't say partying, drinking or drugs because my friends are all at college and I'm not much of a lone drinker haha. I was thinking of cleaning up a bit for my mom, reading my chapter for the quiz on Tuesday, playing some video games, baking/cooking and maybe stopping by the library cause im broke haha. any other ideas would be greatly appreciated!

im so fucking tiered. idk why, dyl slept over last night, slept so well.

i fucking hate magazines

i was at the store today busying groceries. while I was there I saw a magazine that said "drop 1.5 lbs EVERY DAY. the cooking tweaks and easy food swaps that will turn off hunger, end aches and pains, burn stored fat" on the cover. It made me so frustrated and I don't get mad or anything ever. you know what I lost 1 lb a day and I turned of my hunger and I burned stored fat and you know what happened? I ENDED UP IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL.

i'm alive

i could just drive forever
10 miles over the speed limit
volume up so loud my ears crackle and my speakers crunch
fuck that support goup
yelling to the music
"i'm trying to show you how much you mean as days fade and nights grow we all go cold"
coming out of the darkness
into a more beautiful place of freedom
air on my face
one hand on the wheel
faster faster
if i could live like this forever
i'd truly be free
but for now
i'll settle for being very much alive

------------------------------------------------------------------

xoxoz

hair dye, dreams, and coming back to mcr

have some dye in hair now. inferno by manic panic. its a red orange-y color. hope it'll look good, i got the dye about 3 years ago but hair dye doesn't really expire so that's good. it was white before this so the red will be very vibrant.

had a dream that this girl I was crushing on last year, Via, was writing suggestive messages on my drawing and we were in the program I was in last month. the showers in the program were really nice but there were no doors. I don't know how to describe it. it was interesting. I think it's because my dad saw Via's parents last night.

had class this morning.

boring update

class at 12, it's about 10 now.
parents got me a bracelet with a charm that said "FUED", or fuck you eating disorder. I like it a lot.
Lola, my dog is so funny. I don't know why but she's just so funny
spray painted some of my overalls;. i make stencils sometimes so i stenciled a black recovery symbol onto my denim overalls and a green vagina on my white overalls. looks awesome!
did not sleep well last night. had a lot of energy and couldn't fall asleep.
that's all i have to say for now i think.
xoxoz

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