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puzzles!

we're doing a puzzle of 60s rock and it's a really good puzzle 1000 pieces wish me luck!
Also if I'm able to eat 100% today and tomorrow, I get to go on pass tomorrow! that means I go home for about four hours, try a meal, hang out, then come back to program. I'll probably be here until some time next week. I'm supposed to be here for longer but insurance won't cover longer than next week.I love insurance for covering what they do cover but I wish they'd cover my full stay. the plan was for me to be here until I reach a pound over my healthy weight.

club penguin mcr clut?

hey guys
so on club penguin theres a group of users called the pookies. pookies are normal penguins who are yellow, hang out at the pet shop and pretend to be babies.
and they inspired me
what if everyone who comes on this site makes a Club Penguin and we make an emo group on there like the pookies, but cool!
friend me on CP, i'm emolordmcr cause we'll make this work.
xoxoz

In resi... again

Hey guys
I'm at resi. again. third time in resi. But whatever. I knew I'd end up here, I was doing so bad. As of today, I;ve been here for a week.
Applying to art schools now. It's the first thing that's ever gotten me excited for college, the potential of doing art for life. So I'll go with it :)
I can't blog much right now, because the program's desktop computer is broken :( but I can blog from my personal computer during the two hour school block if I finish all my work.
My parents and I have made a deal. If I eat ALL my food for a whole day, I earn prizes. These prizes include:
- getting

Happy Birthday Frank!
Wow I haven't been on in a month

TW: Eating Disorder, possible hospitalizations

hey guys
I've been offline for a while now! sorry about that. things have just been pretty crazy over here....
I mentioned getting a job in my last blog, at the farm. I had to quit last weekend. It was took me two hours to eat breakfast. My disorder is controlling my life...
Met with my clinician. He said I've lost weight this week and if I don't start gaining by Friday, I'm going inpatient to Alcott. That's where they tube you if you don't finish meals.

New Job!

Sweet Meadow Farm hired me! I have work tomorrow and Sunday from 8:30-2. Gonna clean the coops and help with the shop. Glad to get some income and be doing something fun like a farm :)
Took some pictures for my art school portfolio. have 8 pictures that are going into the portfolio and I need 15-25. I still have until December 1st, taking more pics at school on tuesday.
getting some of my tatt colored in on monday!
xoxoZ

SATs

It's 5:36 am. I'm supposed to be getting up at 6 or 6:20 but can't sleep cause I'm so nervous. I have to leave at 7 am, to get to school at 7:45 am to sit the test for 6 hours.
For those of you out of the USA and don't know what the SAT's are, they're a HUGE test. SAT stands for Scholastic Aptitude Test, it's basically the test colleges use to judge you on weather or not they want you in their school. I'm looking at art school, for the most part, and for my top choice (Mass Art) the SAT is optional.

How Punk Is helping my reccovery

This is an excerpt from my journal. I'd love it if you guys read it and commented :) It's a mental revolution I came to about how punk can save me from my eating disorder and made me feel very hopeful!
======================
I weigh ___.__ lbs. FUCK. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel the need to restrict or the urge to purge. Listening to Wingnut Dishwasher's Union, Pat The Bunny and Johnny Hobo And The Freight Trains, ect. It makes me feel inspired and kinda bad cause an eating disorder is everything punk rock is NOT about.

discharge tomorrow

hey guys
I'm getting discharged at 11 tomorrow. so that's great :)
when we went out for fresh air this morning there was a really cute dog! and we got to pet it!
sorry I haven't been commenting or posting much. I'll be doing more of that once I'm home. I miss you guys but I'm glad I've been able to email with some of you, like cheriselynn, fefedarkboy13, and mcrnut_86. Getting emails form you guys really helps :)
I'm almost half way done with New Moon and it's like 600 pages! proud of myself for that :)
we did 16 puzzles. they're all over the floor :P
Last night we did high school musical

site related dream

last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with BrokenUp and we went on the site and the messenger was working again and you could post pictures with your blog again and we cried and hugged each other a lot because we were so happy. Then we went to Target.
I miss the messenger system so much, I've tried emailing WB and commenting on their blogs and everything but I guess they're too busy for us...
xoxoZ

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