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chpeverill-conti's blog

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let's talk about mania

just watched a youtube video about manic episodes and its nothing like mine are. theirs was about being restless and productive. mine's very different from that. I wrote a list of ways to tell that I'm having a manic episode. they usally only last less than a day but i recetly was manic for a week when my meds were off. even if it's not the typical mania/hypo-mania, I still have the diagnosis. It's still valid. this is the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuA7HqhZW-4&t=315s

Hyper activity
Laughing uncontrollably
Moving fast
Unsafe ideas/actions
Crying
Screaming
hand tremor
Extra creative

listing of events

I don't feel like writing a blog. so I'll just do a list of thoughts and occurrences from the day.

why did i just spend an hour watching scene kids do makeup
only five days left of partial
got hair bleach
maybe i'll wear a skirt tomorrow
or maybe not
i think i'll do neon makeup tomorrow. that would be fun.
school on monday for the first time ion ~2 months. yikes.
made a few bracelets today
i don't know how i feel right now
i never know how i feel
i wish i didn't dissociate so much
my dog is really great
i want more dogs
those videos made me want to be a scene kid again. yikes
i'm glad i'm not

Folk Punk

hey everyone who's still online!
I just wanted to share my new favorite music genre - folk punk! it's like acoustic angry punk with harmonics and guitars and stuff. The lyrics are primarily about drug addiction, alcoholism, being homeless, and society. Really about making the best of a bad situation. Drugs are bad, kids. But if you're already into it, might as well sing about it, right?
these are the songs I made in a mix CD for my friend called "this is: Folk punk":

Timeline - Apes of the State
House On Wheels - Ghost Mice
I Listened - Apes of the State
Acid Song - Johnny Hobo and the

Miss you guys

Hey
The site is so quiet. The MCR kid group chats are so quiet. I'm worried for our community.
There's not as much drama here as there was when I first got here. Still no idea when I'll be able to leave. I've officially been here two weeks as of today.
I'm really worried about hearing back from Framingham State University. If I don't get in, I'll have to take a gap year. And I think I'd rather be at FSU. I want to study art. I don't think I'm actually that good. But it's what I want to do and I believe I can get better at it.
One girls crying a lot. I feel bad.
Xoxoz

4 years on the site

Hey everyone!
Yesterday was my four year anniversary of signing up for this site. I couldn't blog yesterday because my phone was being weird.
Still not sure when I'll get out of treatment.
I'm bored
Been playing MCR on guitar
Love you guys!
XoxoZ

4 years

Hey lovelies
I'm in residential (again) and I haven't posted in ages. I thought the four year anniversary of the split would be a good time to come back.
We're watching high School musical two now.
I miss MCR. I miss my friends I've met in this site because its hard to get in touch with them since I have limited tech time and therefore it's hard to reach them and fit their time zones.
We listened to Danger Days in the group room today. That was nice. And another kid and myself wore MCR shirts. I'm not as obsessed with chem but I still love them and am greatful​ for all they have done for me.

sorry I've been gone!

Hey my dudes!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. There's been school and college apps. Thought I'd give some updates on what's going on.
I think I'm getting discharged from the eating disorder clinic today or tomorrow! it's been 10 months of treatment and I'm really proud that, even though I'm still struggling, I've made it this far.
I didn't get accepted to Mass Art :/ I applied to a lot of other schools but that was my first choice. I also applied to framingham state, curry, lesley, Massachusetts college of liberal arts, university of northern iowa, and upper iowa university.

noop

hey guys
I HAVENT BEEN HERE IN FOREVER
a lot has been going on, Ill update you when i'm not in english class. :P
love you
xoxoZ

back at school

back at school - out of partial. eating lunch
i fucking hate lunch
i feel like im gonna cry i cant do it i cant i cant i cant
i have grapes and a sparkling blood orange drink and a chicken sandwich and a bananna and i dont think i can do all of it so I'll end up back in partial and wont graduate so i cant go to college
xoxoZ

puzzles!

we're doing a puzzle of 60s rock and it's a really good puzzle 1000 pieces wish me luck!
Also if I'm able to eat 100% today and tomorrow, I get to go on pass tomorrow! that means I go home for about four hours, try a meal, hang out, then come back to program. I'll probably be here until some time next week. I'm supposed to be here for longer but insurance won't cover longer than next week.I love insurance for covering what they do cover but I wish they'd cover my full stay. the plan was for me to be here until I reach a pound over my healthy weight.

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