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so sad

whats happened to our site
the spam is so sad
i wish the site was back to the way it was.

bored and tiered

im so bored and tiered
need to get a cavity and a hole in my tooth filled in 20 mins.
but i'm so bored for now.
i loved UMaine.
i think i'd like to go there.
sucks its four hours away
today i had class
i went to the dr
i took a brief nap
walked my dog


five years ago today i joined this site! i nearly forgot!
happy birthdayyyy to meeeee!

i'm in maine and wrote a paper

im in maine right now
going to accepted students day from 8am-2 tomorrow. it was a long drive, we left at 11:30 am and got here at 5:00 pm! it was all on the freeway though so that made it into a pretty easy drive.
we stopped at Cabela's but i really didn't like it there. there was a lot of taxidermy of cute or endangered animals.
finished my five page paper on michel foucault! i might have mentioned that last blog. i'm nost sure.its due tomorrow but i'll be in maine so i'm going to email it to my professor. last time i emailed him it bounced.

paper and weird dream

it's 5:30 am and im working on my paper again..
its a 5 page paper on foucault's ideas of madness
and its due monday
i have two pages
3 pages to go and still need to edit
i hope i get a C on it
I don't have high standards
but i'm usally a B or an A student
so this is pretty low i guess
i really flunked high school
but now that i'm in college
i have a 3.7 GPA
take it from me kiddos
get to college and it gets so much easier
last night i had a dream i was smoking
but out of a bowl
no, not that bowl
an actual bowl. like for cereal
i put the water and the weed in the bowl
lit a match
put it in the

goodbye mcr x5/update

we said goodbye 5 years ago
still miss them like crazy
but i'm doing ok still
when i wake up and look in the mirror,
i'm either pretty or ugly
today is a pretty day
my eyes look soft
need to leave for class in ten minuets
we had a delayed start because of the snow
when it's warm out
im going to dye my pit hair
blue or purple?
maybe one of each
i tried to post a poem last night
but the spam filter said no
stupid spam filter

quick blog

i have to lelave for math class in about 5-8 min.
my "L" key is kinda broken so if it types or llooks weird thats why. im not fixing my L's.
im actuallly doing very welll right now. insurance is talking to my family therapist today to see if i get more time at IOP. I THINK I'm in a space where i could do with more time but if i dont get more time i;ll be okay.
on the 25th of this month i willl have been on this website for 5 years. what the fuck. thats exciting.
today i have math class, nutritionalist meeting, therapy, potentiallly iop and some homework to do
yesterday i got a lletter in the

self care day

its been awful quiet here!
not much going on in my life. sociology was cancelled today and on Wednesday so thats a nice little treat.
i'm just about to play sims. going to build my house. that should take a bit of work, since although i don't live in a HUGE house, its a house for 4 people who all need their space. so it might take a while to make my house perfect.
i have decided that today is going to be my self care day. i'm going to do what i want to do to take care of my mental health and have a day off.

i'm going to try. for real this time.

hello to anyone who still visits this website!
I'm just here. at home. drinking a mocha latte.
I feel like I need to write about stuff today.
had IOP last night, i think i mentioned in my last blog that insurance approved maybe 3 days of IOP. I wasn't able to eat too much. a couple bites of my rice bowl and two yogurts with almonds in it and maybe 3/4 of my juice. i didn't get to most of my rice bowl, any of my applesauce, or my dessert.
but i think i'm ok with it.
i'm ok with it because i realized i might not be trying hard enough.

today and yesterday's update

it's Saturday. great to have a break from school.
feeling a bit less depressed since i upped my mood stabilizer :)
insurance FINALLY got back to me! they approved IOP. they said i can go on Monday, and they tend to approve 6 days at a time so i'm good for two weeks of iop :)
last night I was NOT doing well. i was searching and looking at mega triggering pictures of skinny girls. I was counting up what i'd eaten that day... i went on sites that can only hurt me.