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It's Finally Over.. I Hope..

so incase anyone may have flicked onto the story of my life, i got into a couple of drug problems before and yes, it was stupid, but i think its ended now. i went out for a couple of days which technically ended up being about 4 days by the end, and i came back to my room the complete opposite to what it should have been. my little brother had been in my room watching a film, but i could already tellt hat by discs that had been left out.. that wasnt the thing that bothered me though, some of my private stuff had been moved and i knew something was missing. id been holding onto a free gift for a friend, okay better not to lie, about £20's worth of 'bass' which is a higher form of speed, and it was gone. i put things where i know people wont be bale to find things but it was like my room had been searched and tbh my first thought was 'invasion of privacy' so i asked about my mum about my room.

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Is It Too Loud?

okay, so most of the time, i spend my life with headphones on, music blasting into my ears, it keeps me sane, the 'mood stabilizers' arent exactly useful :P only when im at home do i get told to turn it down all the time, and its usually until they cant hear it and i can hear their tv shows over my music. seriously, all i want, is to stay in my world, where music is the only thing that understands, its why i wear them. am i the only one who gets this from people, or do you guys get it too? :/

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Being Good Enough.

does it matter how much you do in life? ive been doing as much as i can and yet im still not getting noticed. im not trying to get attention from people, this more about family if im honest. yes, ive let down too many people in my life and broken hundreds of promises that shouldve of been kept, but now im doing something good after all these years and i feel like the only family i have left, is here. but even that disabandoned, its as if MCR kept us all under one roof, and a lot of us have up and left. Theyre still together, and i listen to their music all throguh my course each day im in. im now even priveliged tog et up whenever i want and i can write on the whiteboard and its usually lyrics from their songs. In one way, i wish i could do something to prove to my family im not gunna keep letting them down since ive been coming each day i should and never leaving until the work is done, and in another way im thanking the band for getting me through the years. MCRmy <3