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I DID IT!

took my exam today, one of the major ones for my course, and passed with flying colours! 100%! seriosuly, ive never done so well in my life :L i surprise myself half the time, but this has made me so ahppy today, walking out with tht score.... its just amazing. especially for me. im still asking myself how the fuck i did it, but i think catching up on sleep really helped, last time i was at college, i kinda fell asleep... whoops ¬.¬
but now i passed it! go me! :D
oh and a quick note for this MCR media thingy, i would like to participate in this, i made my own tribute picture ages ago and i kept it, guess i now have something to give it use :3 this day has gone really well for me, hope everyone else is having a good day :3
brynly out.

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IT Level 2 Course.

i had an alright start to the day, in short im gunna just say it. I had one of my major exams today and a lot of people had hopes that i was gunna pass today, and i failed. they said i must of missed out on at elast one question to reach pass grade but to me that doesnt cover it. a lovely big FAILED on the screen, so thats kinda put me down for the day...
dont really feel like doing anything today now...
was supposed to be going to all nighter rave (weird scene for me to be in when all i listen to is rock and metal);
some others wanted to me to come to Sound Circus (for those who dont know what that is, it used to be only a rock and metal club, but its now mostly that and alternative at times);
some to the pub where they do karaoke from 8 - 11:30 and they enjoy it when i go up and sing, dunno why, i dont even think im that good :P
and i was also supposed to have two friends staying the night at mine..;

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Still Confused.

so yesterday, one of my friends tried to hook me up with one of their friends, and i got told shes lovely and would most probably be easy to get with. its like they dont listen to me at all. i dont want to be with anyone right now, i dont wanna get with anyone right now either, is sex all anyone thinks about? some of us can go without it these days ¬.¬ it just really gets to me, that while im tryna even figure out what i am, that people are tryna pressure me into shit that i dont want. take it somewhere else, i just wanna do what im doing atm, im happy, i keep the flow going and it gives me a routine. does this make me sexually confused? does this make me lost? people say im feminine as well? so does that make me a female inside or something? :'(

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Feeling Confused... :/

Gay Pride in London hasnt long passed and I began to notice just how many people have been questioning my sexuality and its began to really bug me. I dont usually feel like this but I dont know what I am.. Sometimes i look at girls my age (maybe a couple of years younger as well) and you know, you cant deny some girlss have nice arses now and again, every person can vouch, when they see a nice bum they point it out :L Some look attractive I guess, when you see hairstyles that suit them and things like that, but girls to me, are the same as guys, theyre just as good looking, just as sweet and things like that. But I dont like getting close to either gender or making any kind of connection of any sort. Right now I cant say many guys look attractive anymore since they all look the same because its fucking "fashionable" (or swagfags as theyre known) as they call it. And some girls are getting the same hairstyle done and no one looks orginal anymore... i just need help please..

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Just A Quick Notice!

I've sat and read every blog from the past two days, always do, always have. For all those who feel alone, you're not, we're here, we're not leaving you, there will always be a shoulder to cry on, a friend to turn to, and a family to look out for you. For all those still being bullied, this song helped me to ignore bullies, just thought id try and help a little.. might not do anything, but to me, its the thought that counts. oh and in case anyones hungry, you want some mini cheddars? i got loads to share :3
brynly out.

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Lunch Break.

It's gone quite quick recently, time literally flies, i never noticed how quickly though... This course im doing atm has been a lot more fun than i thought it'd be, of course im getting the work done, doing as best as i can. I've gained a lot of privileges throughout; get my own cup of tea whenever (usually a staff privilege), i get to use the staff toilets, listen to music whilst working, got my own cupboard space for my lunch, one of the fun things is sitting in the chair in the reception, its known as the Seat of Power. I think im let off too many times for lateness which i gotta pick up on getting here earlier. The staff here are great as well, im not allowed to name them, but they're a laugh, some are still surprised as to how privileged i am, but i dont wanna take it all for granted. My tutor says that at some point I'll end up getting my own parking space, but i know that wont happen since i dont actually drive, but its a fun thought.

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The Good Things.

im doing really well with my IT course right now, flyring through it, got a couple of assignments left to do, then the final exam and then complete it :D got 3 choices of what to take on next, havent decided though.
On another note, i've finally bought a Black Parade jacket (I'll upload a picture if you guys wanna see :P) and ive been wearing it everyday so far, im proud of it :3 been getting some good opinions, a lot of negativity towards it though... some say its embarassing to wear out in public, some make fun of it (gotta love having friends that are the complete opposite of you), and the others say its cool, funky, stylish... got opinions like 'its kinda like micheal jackson' or 'its a bit like the 80's but more modern too' and one of the weirdest ones 'adam ant! hes got a stlye like that, all thats missing is the make up'
i thought of getting a party poison jacket, but i like dark colours too much, i never wear any other colour...

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Coming to Terms.

we've been broken up for 3 months now. its taken that long to finally get over you. 3 long months. after you fucked with my head, manipulated me, used me and treated me like shit, i was the only one who treated you differently. gotta thank you though, if i hadnt of met you, i wouldnt of managed to gain one of your friends into mylife, who you seemed to have 'replaced' as she calls it, and we've completely spent some of our time bitching about you. you're a pathological liar who uses people and you act like a fucking victim. if you disappeared tomorrow,i wouldnt bat an eye. i forgave you for so many things, i hope the next person on your list turns around and fucks you over. to this day, i still dotn know if any of the thngs you said were true, but making someone fall in love with you and then using it to your advantage is cruel. im glad you're out of my life.

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Listen Up People!

okay, so i come on here every two days. i come here to read every blog thats been updated on here, believe it or not some of us are reading your blogs & yes a lot of you are right, we have all died down since they broke up. to me it felt like their family were keeping us going, making us their family also, and then when they ended it felt like we didnt have a chance of having the ability to carry on going. i wanna let you all know that whatever you write, I'll be here to read it, i may not reply to them, but i feel everything. i still feel like theres no chance left and yet im still here, you guys are family to me.

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re-thoughts.

okay, so my last one wasnt exactly the nicest thing in the world, stupid and luckily im out of it, but its come to the point in my life where ive had to re-think a lot of things. right now im not feeling too good, im back to being a pain killer addict, i may be losing a friend whos like a sister to me, and since ive stopped doing msot things bad, hearts been broken, and my sense of humour has literally been erased. i dont feel much anymore. i avoid arguments because i cant deal with them, i let most things go that bother me hoping that it'll just fly past. people tell me that i shouldnt let things go and i should stand up for myself, but my confidence is just at an all time low and i cant really smile much anymore. music used to help, but its become a world where im secluded away from people and it helps in its own little way. i miss how things used to be years ago. i want to go back :'(