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Chemical blood pumping. Crystals on my skin diving. Watery air lapping me up. muscles disappear leaving jello bones. Lights turn in on each other heaving my breath with them. Confusion set in. My soul is just an emblem. Feel the sky falling Like the chickens do. Better hope its not falling for you. Noise roaring through the walls. Chemically controlled. I'm losing my mind. Nothing left I'm told. Breathing shallow whispering clouds. Mind is raging caged sounds. It a Trip in another life another world. Collapsing in chemical collision.

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Belated Valentines Babble

People are constantly coming to me for advice on what to do next in their lives, ESPECIALLY when it comes to relationships. Honestly I'm pretty sure I'm the worst person in the world to go to. I've never had a relationship last longer than three months and I've only dated three people. What on earth makes you think that I am qualified to help you out in that area of your life? Literally everything I know about relationships comes from movies and books, yet people still seem inclined to come to me with their issues. Apparently I do give good advice though. It always works out for the people who come to me.

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Got bored and this is what popped out.

Compulsary cannibalism
wrap me up in your psychosis
wordless power
failing in the end
no strength in your silence
only weakness

Born and bred a murderer
no need to appologize
we are who we are
don't stop the screaming
because the power is in the sound

Wait for the moment to strike
I've read in books that
this isn't right
but if it wasn't, wouldn't they fight?

They tell me they love me and then
gone with the wind
up, up and away like smoke
on their poison words I'll make you choke
they try to lie to me and then they
eat their own tongues
how do your lies taste now?!

Never been right in the mind...

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Here is a rock

This is a random picture of a rock.

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There are people, places and things in our lives that change us. Nouns that, without them, we would not be who we are today. It is amazing to think that something as simple as a noun has the power to change us in our entirety. If but only one person were to disappear from our history our entire future could change. And that thought makes us realize just how fickle "fate" is. Something so small as a single noun can completely derail it. But then you must also wonder if just a single noun has the power to change "fate" it must not be quite as small as you had believed, right? Perhaps my musings are just the chatter of an idle mind but I hope that they have fueled your imagination and will help you to consider the effects of the nouns in your life.

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A Citrus Situation

Looking at the LEMONS
Lemon people
Lemon situations
Lemon lives
Sour taste in you mouth
Foul and lasting

An ORANGE would be better
Sweet and lovely
Light and kind on the buds
Orange world would be inviting
Life would be better in


Living a life of LEMON.
Wishing for a life of ORANGE.

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A poetic essay on human potential using The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

If you have never read the book "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien, I highly recomend it. I myself am NOT a fan of historical or war related book but this book is unlike anything I've read before. The artistry with which it was written is extraordinary and the book truly touches ones heart strings. I wrote this as one of my final essays in my AP English class. I'd love to hear your opinions and feed back. :)

In fact, no
At all.
Instruction of destruction
Has no potential
At all.
That curled up and
Crawled away a
Life time a go
Off Elroy’s boat
Down with the “man”-made rain
Into the rainy, Rainy River.

Was I
When I came upon the
Boy with the Starry Eye?

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Fighting With My Faith

I took a leap of
I leapt and then I
You promised that you would
Catch me
But with my begging-pleading-screaming
Your hands were not compelled

Now I’m broke and bleeding
Alone and wondering why
You ignored all of my screaming
Did you think that I could fly?

I am NOT an angel
Imperfect in my life
Wings are not a thing I bare
But I’ve borne a lot of strife

My faith in you is waning
My praying place worn bare
I’ve begged and prayed and asked forgiveness
But have you ever cared?

I took you as my God
Your son my only savior
But my strength is ever failing
I’m sorry I wasn’t braver.

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Call me Crazy

Hi! I'm Julia, but y'all can call me Crazy. :) I'm a 19 year old high school graduate who has taken a HUGE leap into the real world. I've left everyone I know and love THOUSANDS of miles away just to attempt to persue life on my own. So far... Not so great. One of my roommates once said to me, "You gotta be crazy to not be happy in Hawaii. It's paradise. Nothing better than here. " But as she said that I couldn't help thinking about how badly I just wanted to be back home in my frozen wasteland of Alaska. The place where I was born, raised and turned into the AWESOME woman I am now. When I left, I hated the place. Saw it as nothing more than a prison. A place to run from. So I did. I ran to the most polar opposite place I could think of. Hawaii. But believe it or not I just cant find real happiness here.