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Kill All Your Friends

So I have seriously been getting depressed. Every damn day is a struggle. I cant handle what is going on in my life, my friends all hate me, the guys I love is dating another girl and it kills me, plus my parents have been yelling all the damn time. Music and art are my only resources left and its starting to not help as much as it used to. Im just so empty. Im starting to forget what its like to feel okay. I want it all to stop

my head is feeling heavy and its pointing straight down

I feel so numb. And im starting to not care about anything anymore. Im really starting to loose all my friends and my parents are always pissed off at me. They think that my music is causing me to be depressed even though its one of the only things helping me. Plus my dad saw my wrists and said it was pathetic for me to self harm and that it was stupid. So now.. im just looking for a way to forget it all a way to escape. And music helps but i get yelled at for listening to it at home..

You.. were... My Wonderwal

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one

Attention MCARMY

Attention: All My Chemical Romance fans who have begun to give up. PLEASE TAKE A MINUTE OUT OF YOUR DAY TO READ THIS AND PASS IT ALONG.
We have to have to HAVE TO keep this fandom alive. Everyone is abandoning it. We can't give up. My Chemical Romance is still a part of my heart. The role plays are dying, the fan fictions are dropping, the radio stations aren't getting requests for them anymore, it's sad. If you loved MCR as much as I did you wouldn't abandon it and leave it to die. Gerard said "MCR is gone, but it can never die." Its alive in US. We have to stay strong!

Ugh

So. mY EX BOYFRIEND AND i ARE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. wE ONLY BROKE UP ABOUT A WEEK AGO AND ITS KILLING BOTH OF US. bUT WE ARE GOIBNG TO EACH OTHERS HOMECOMINGS AND ARE GOING TO HANGOUT. so LAST NIGHT WE WERE TALKING AND WE GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT ABOUT ALL OF THIS AND I TOLD HIM I WASA FUCK UP AND I SHOULD kill myself ((Sorry about caps lock im in school and its so dark lol)) anyways. He started freaking saying he never trusted me and only trusted his girlfriend before me, bailey, and i yelled at him and he was crying and stuff and he was saying a bunch of shit and i cut myself.

Ugh

So. mY EX BOYFRIEND AND i ARE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. wE ONLY BROKE UP ABOUT A WEEK AGO AND ITS KILLING BOTH OF US. bUT WE ARE GOIBNG TO EACH OTHERS HOMECOMINGS AND ARE GOING TO HANGOUT. so LAST NIGHT WE WERE TALKING AND WE GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT ABOUT ALL OF THIS AND I TOLD HIM I WASA FUCK UP AND I SHOULD kill myself ((Sorry about caps lock im in school and its so dark lol)) anyways. He started freaking saying he never trusted me and only trusted his girlfriend before me, bailey, and i yelled at him and he was crying and stuff and he was saying a bunch of shit and i cut myself.

poetry

for three years ive been on a poetry site and it helps the suicidal thoughts go away and the jsut banned me and i dont know why, and im so depressed. Everything today keeps getting worse and worse

Killjoy Name

So i was talking to my friend brianna, and we were giving each other killjoy names. She gave me cyanide shotgun, and i gave her Resurrecting razorblade.. i dont even know but i like mine hahaha

It's Your Own Damn Fault

Well.. once again, i woke up to my dad yelling at me. Apparently I don't know how to take care of his dogs right, and my room is 'filthy' like my mothers house. Even though the only thing on the floor is my bookbag and laptopbag and two pairs of shoes. Still. I get an hour long discussion with him about this. I simply replied with 'yes sir, i understand' to get him to stop.

Then, I find out someone took stole my money. I had 297 dollars hidden in my room for getting the hell out of this town and i see that it is gone. and NO ONE will fess up to it. *sigh* just another day in paradise.

Who I Am

Well.. I am a girl.. fifteen, from a small town. I usually wear black and like rock, as you must be able to tell. I don't really have any friends and I usually don't believe people when they say we are. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I tried to kill myself when I was twelve. The bands, My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Pierce The Veil, and Man Overboard have really helped me to overcome some of the darkness that consumed my life. But it still looms inside of me and that scares me.

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