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BlueBurnsBlack's blog

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7 year aniversary

Well today marks 7 years since I found out about this site. Loool. Funny thing is when I found out about it I was in High School as a Senior. I would log in on my school's computer's ( funny it wasn't blocked by the firewall).

Well I hope everyone has a good day and all.

Darkness

I sit Alone in a quiet room, on the edge of a breakdown, Tell me what I'm missing, what could I do; I'm so Afraid of what I've Become.

And when I think of you, Do you realize I still miss you? What have I done, I can't change; though I wanted to.

I'm all alone in a quiet room and I think about you everyday. Do you even realize I still love you?

Are you happy with who you're with, do you even care about me anymore?

Tell me what I'm missing I can't seem to get over you.

What have I done to make you hate me so much? I don't want to loose you, even though I think I already have.

This Ain't no Sideshow

Well Merry Christmas everyone, Another Year I'll be single....

Hopefully I'll find someone soon.

If I could take it all back and have you back Skullrose I would but I don't even think you are on this site anymore.

I wanted to tell you that the post about the Relationship wasn't about you, It was about an Ex of mine from when I was 18.

There's so many things from past relationships I wish I could take back but the people I was with probably don't want anything to do with me.

I'm a pathetic loser.

*Sigh* Why do I always fuck up everything?

mortuary sub complications Part Trece

I haven't posted in a while, but here we go...... I recently ( within the last 2 and a half weeks maybe?)

Had an almost Psychotic Break and went to my Psychiatrist and Therapist.

[ I have a history of seasonal depression around the holidays]. So here's the story. It's kinda long so bare with me.

My ex Megan from 10th Grade when we were both in Boarding School ( for Behavioral and Mental Disorders) [ funny thing is the website says that it's a school for Asperbergers/Autism Students] However no one at that school was there for that.

But back to the story My ex from 10th Grade who was 18 when

Is it weird to say I miss being in the Hospital???

I know right? I actually miss being hospitalized and the people I meet while I'm there...

I almost once had a GF from being Hospitalized only to have a new patient who was an ex gang member steal her over.

But I miss the patients I'd be with, the food, the atmosphere in general. I mean I guess what I'm trying to say is I need a break from reality; but I'm actually not in a Mental Health situation that would require me to be put into the Hospital.

So why then do I miss being in one? I don't get it?

Happy Holidays and stuff

Well the holidays are approaching very fast.

So I hope whatever you celebrate it goes well.

I'm doing good other than the fact that I'm sick.

But I wish I had some one special to spend the holidays with.

*Sigh* maybe one day?

The cold from Hell

Well as you can read from the title I have a bad Cold and am sick. It sucks cuz I'm congested as Fuck and coughing up my lungs. I think I got sick from either being around other people who might have been sick ( at Work) or from the Smoke from the forest fires here in Georgia.

Anyways I've found some old friends and shit on facebook but idk if any of them would be interested in talking to me anyways....

When the cities burn down

Well there's a massive Forrest Fire in my State in North Georgia in the Mountains; that started from a lightning strike, but it has burned over 6,700 Acres of land and the smoke has drifted as far south as Atlanta. It's soooooo Hazy and smells of smoke here.

It's pretty bad. I really hope we get rain soon, it's way too dry here.

Sub Complications and Unknown Oddyeseys

Well there's a girl at work that I really like and have a crush on. Her name is Burgundy and she is 19.
But that's the problem, is that too young? I mean she's really nice and we like the same things, but I'm scared to ask her out because of her age.

But then there is another girl named Taylor who is 21 but she's a Single Mom. So I'm not too crazy about that. Also I've been looking on a few sites that I'm on but haven't had much luck.

It seems every time I start to talk to some one they forget about me.

*Sigh*

Even my best friend Andrea has forgotten about me.

Of Mice & Men

If I could find the words, if I could shake the world,
If I could turn back time would you still be there?

I can't stop thinking about the way
I left you sinking with no escape.
Now there's no lifeline, no way to save.
But maybe next time I won't throw it all away.

I ask myself everyday...

If I could find the words, if I could shake the world,
If I could turn back time would you still be there?
If I could find the words to say,
If I could shake the world to break you down,
Then would you still be there?

Would you still be there? [2x]

Dislocated, I lie awake
Suffocating in my mistakes.
I lost

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