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dreams and melodies

so last night I had a dream that started out as a kayak race on a river with my old buddy Alex, then it turned into a woodsball paintball game in my old neighborhood with my two old friends Matt and Brendon, then out of no where's it turns into a tornado and i get swept up and thrown 11 miles from my home. but the weirdest thing is when I woke up it was 3:00 AM and storming.

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Thunderstorms

So it's thundering and lightning outside but no rain I just happend to be awake right now.

Anyways it's 1 week from Memorial Day weekend in the US and I am exstacticly waiting for the weekend so I can go get 4th of July Fireworks. I know most of y'all are from the UK but the 4th of July is like Christmas for me except its in Summer and there's bright colors and loud explosions.

And since my dream job is to sell and set of fireworks in shows what better way than learning how to run a show by setting of consumer fireworks.

Now back to the thunderstorm it's pretty calm now, I watched a little MMA last night then fell asleep but I'm up now.

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Depression

It feels worse than before , like I don't even want to do the things that make me happy anymore I don't care about school anymore I'm constantly messaging girls in hope that they would date me. ( they all think I'm crazy)

I just don't care about anything anymore

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we couldn't think of a title

Application for Partner in Crime

Females Apply Only

1.Name
2. Age
3. Height
4.Eye Color
5. Hair Color
6. (if not shy to answer this ) Bra size
7. Location
8. Car
9. Willing to relocate if outside the USA
10.Do you own a gun?
11. Have you ever been arrested?
12. Do you play video games?
13. If Yes what games?
14. Are you OCD?
15. Have you ever left the country?
16. If so where have you been?
17. ( if your comfortable answering) Are you a Virgin?
18. What's your Favorite Drink?
19. Favorite Food?
20. Clothing Style?
21. Favorite Color?
22. Favorite Song?
23. Favorite Genre Music?
24. (last but not least) How did you find this site?

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website and is distressing for others]

3. No self harm posts
If you are feeling like you may harm yourself please contact someone who can help.

Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or twloha.com/find-help. You can also contact The Trevor Project at thetrevorproject.org or by calling their Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

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Take Away this Ball & Chain

Well, it's been ten years and a thousand tears
And look at the mess I'm in
A broken nose and a broken heart
An empty bottle of gin

Well, I sit and I pray
In my broken down Chevrolet
While I'm singin' to myself
There's got to be another way

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well, I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away, this ball and chain

Well, I've searched and I searched
To find a perfect life
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife

But wherever I have gone
I was sure to find myself there
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well, I'm sick and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away, take away this ball and chain

Well, I'll pass the bar on the way
To my dingy hotel room

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why am i always alone in this perdicument of a life?

I can never find anyone to call my own, I'm crawling on my belly towards an entending bliss of nothingness death favours those who favour death.

I'm simply dying to end this suffering, just the thought of the loneleness and suffering the pain and distorted dreams.

The visions I get are real and you should be warned by what I see in a post apocalyptic WWIII.

Im not okay I'm really not okay what your missing out on when I tell you this babe is I'm ok ( trust me)

I miss you

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Accepted

So I got The call I have been waiting for, there is a Higher Power after all :D

I'm going to College for my G.E.D.

then I'm going to further my edumacation and get a diploma in a field of study I just have to find out what they offer and what I might be good at :D

I really want to be a pyrotechnician and work with fireworks I have a passion for fireworks and have been setting off shows in my neighborhood for as long as I can remember.

YAAAY

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I lost all my friends from here ( the Black Parade is Dead)

If you could grab me a glass of water cuz I'm sick and i'll form all the kemo and if I say goodbye today I'd have to say the hardest part of this is leaving you

(am I even singing this song right?)

well yeah my friends never get on here anymore and I'm lonely

but what do you expect I'm 21 and Bipolar and frankly don't have any real friends

Title says it all I'm falling hard in a vicious love triangle I have my ex who has accepted me again but wants me to give her time to think things over.

Then you have my staff member from work, whose never going to date me but acts like she's intrested in me so I'm sitting here like da fuq?

Why cant I just be happy for once?