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1 year Ago

1 magical year ago fate brought me and Skull Rose together and we couldn't be happier together.

I luv you skullrose

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in the eyes of BlueBurnsBlack

Where do I begin this Journey of life?

How bout when I first found out about MCR yes?

Okay here goes my Sister had already been listening to them since they formed, but I wasn't aware of them yet I only new 2 Songs at the time by them I'm Not Okay ( I promise) and Helena. As the years went by after 9-11 when Gerard was inspired to write Skylines and Turnstiles (correct me if I'm wrong), I kinda didn't know much about them still, Until 8th Grade.

wait a minute what's this you ask? I didn't really know about them till 8th grade?

well yes my fellow killjoys I found out more about them by the time I reached the 8th grade which for me would have been when I was 13/14 I had just heard Welcome To The Black Parade on my local radio station in Atlanta, Georgia.

I was so astonished and amazed at the sound. I couldn't believe what I was hearing so much feeling so many emotions it was as if someone really understood me finally.

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Distress

I'm so alone

All I want is a gf I can actually see, visit, go on dates with is that to much to ask for?

I've been single for 3 fucking years I'm tired of hearing the same shit I just want to be loved.

I feel so hopeless it's like every girl I like is a stuck up rich bitch, country, slut, or preppy.

Ffs wtf do I have to do?

I give up

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Just wondering where all the Americans are?

So I live in Atlanta, Georgia and I'm trying to find out who is the closet to where I live?!

mainly all I get are people from foreign countries.

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poetry

Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your...

And I know
There's nothing I can say
To change that part
To change that part
To change...

So many
Bright lights, they cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak

Well isn't it lovely to know that the one ex you still have feelings for that you have been dating on and off completely hates you?

To the point of where we where at one time dating on and off since 16 and at that time she stated she wanted to marry me and have my kids.

what a two faced bitch! later in the relationship I broke up with her several times for different reasons as well as her breaking up with me.

I went my seperate way, became a Pagan and practiced witchcraft.

later on I came crawling back to her after several attempts to die.

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on a personal note

well my 22nd birthday is coming up and I don't really want anything

cuz what I asked for I'm doing on the 29th

and what I really want no girl wants to do that with me or likes me or they do want to do it but are underage and half way across the globe.

is it really that hard?

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How do you tell if a girl has blown you off?

so I went on a date with a girl my age and it seemed like all was well but at the end of the night I got no kiss goodnight or a hug goodnight.

I just talked to her while waiting on my ride since she didn't want to drive me home.

anyways I was talking to her yesterday and the day before just small talk she seemed to be happy and all but then today I asked her if we would see each other again she replied idk.

I feel used.

shit why does this keep happening to me?

I guess I wasn't meant to be in a relationship at all.

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So where's your heart?

Well I know there's nothing I can say to make you stay, but where's your heart ? But wheeeerrrrrreee's your heaaarrrttt?

Well I know this life is so demanding I
, but where's your heart? But where's your hearrrt?
I can't speak!

I am not afraid to keep on living , I'm not afraid to walk this world alone honey if you stay I'll be forgiven nothing you can say will stop me from going home.

Now that its said and done how many of you are walking this world alone?

It's just so frustrating

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Life in general ( so does that entitle me your god) ?

So stressed out I drew a murial of my life today but it was shitty since I can't draw without tracing

But it represented radioactivity in my life which means the radioactivity is me trying to find my cause and purpose in life and everyone around me dragging me around like a rag doll.

Then I drew a grim reaper with a golden skull and blood teeth because in life you have battles where you get bloody but from wealth brings you death. In other words the more wealthy you are the more obsessed with power and fame you become , so you become mental and Croke on your on disease.

Anyways I'm supposed to be going to some mental disorder AA/NA 12 step program ? I'm like fuck that if there aren't people that have a) self harmed , b) tried to commit suicide, c) had a goth / Emo stage or d) been arrested in juvenile then no I'm not going cuz no one will understand me.

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Therapy and insanity( I never said I was powerfull I said I was a wizard)

Ugh I have therapy tonight and I've kinda run out of topics to talk about.

It's always the same shit, are u taking your Meds ? are you feeling of hurting yourself? That shit the answers are the same always , I say yes I'm taking my Meds no I don't want to hurt myself , and all that even when secretly I really do.

It's just I have nothing to talk about when I go tonight but I do know there's a really cute girl on here ( she probably knows who she is) I'd date her if I wasn't 21.

Is that weird ?