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haven't posted in a while

everything is such a mess. urgh

havent posted in so long it should be a crime. i used to post every single day.

im just depressed. and its getting worse.

how are YOU guys?

oh God... im seeing things again....

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went to a con!!

saw a guy with a thank u for the venom tee.

he made mcr posters.

sold me 2 for 20. kobra kid and gerard,,,, im so happyy

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meant to put this up earlier

so… sorry i haven't written anything for… three weeks? was it really? ugh. everything is just going down so fast i dont even fucking know. lol. you guys know i transferred and FINALLY after three weeks, i'm getting a locker. i can stop lugging all of my books around like a freaking war horse and can actually put my bag somewhere. so… my next chapter will be up by next week, i'll try to make it longer because i hac=vent written anything in a month…. and… frankly, i can't die unless i finish. you guys DO see why thats a problem, right? lol. so.. yeah. new chapter by next week…. Mad Gear is in it. lol. my preeecious Mad Gear…. and some surprises! so… later! :)

BLOOD’Y REVENGE

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5 + 6 = 11 Reason

remember these numbers?

my first scars were 5. i remember.

the other day, i made 6. (some erased... cant really tell anymore)

now, a total of 11. (if not more)

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if we're labeling...

im an emo, depressive, sexualy-confused, freak.

how's that for labels? took me some time to get this all together.... but yup. that's me.

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5 + 6 = 11

.......................

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if there's no going back... we'll take the easy way out

fell in love with this song. its my life right now. :P

ah... drama

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almost nde meh

was having a live chat with my friend (the one who saved me)

had a measuring tape around my neck

she asked what it was

i told her

she said to take it off

i said "so i cant do.... this?" and pulled on the tape

she told me to take it off again

i laughed and wrapped it around again. my head was spinning. lol

she screamed at me to take it off.

i wrapped it again. it was really tight. could hardly hear or speak.

told me she didnt want to see my live execution or go to my funeral and that she loves me.

i giggled and stopped squeezing. it was still tight. thought about letting it kill me, but she was so upset, i unwound it little by little.

what a fun experiment. i now know how almost nde feels.

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Saving the Fabulous Killjoys: Chapter 38

Jet Star

Party was screaming again. He would do this for hours at a time. Scream for Pink and curse out the guard. The rest of us just watched helplessly as his voice died down little by little. When that happened, he would cry. For hours. For days. For who knows how long. Party had just begun to cry when a small noise filled the cells. Coughing. I looked to Kobra. He was the one coughing. He was huddled in a corner and his food lay untouched. He had stopped eating weeks ago. Not spoken a word since. More quiet than usual. He coughed harder and put his hands around his neck. I saw Missle Kid stand up in her cell and call out to him. He nodded without looking at her.

"Guys. We have to get out of here... Snap out if it!" I yelled.

so... feeling a whole lot better. i promised my friend no overdose, no cutting, no jumping from high places. i intend to keep my promise.

thanks to all who offered their help :) if i ever need it, ill be sure to message you, just as you can message me if you are ever in need of assistance (sorry, feeling really literary today.... just had two pain killers and i feel great!)

so... yeah. :)