bloodshot101's blog

i dont really know what to blog about anymore.

my life isnt THAT interesting at the moment... just guy problems of course. stuck between two.

one will actually talk to me, we had a thing before but we broke up, started talking again. last week he kissed me and today he let me know he wants to have a secret relationship type thing. secret because he has a girlfriend... now this guy i cant live without, but i cant let him cheat on this girl. so -.-

then the other guy, we would talk everyday and i got lost in him, trusted him with my LIFE. everyone said its obvious he likes me... but when i started talking to the other guy again, he stopped talking to me and we just.... we're growing apart

I.. okay. my thoughts on the break up are all messed up...
They have their reasons.. I feel love for every band member and i hope they're alright in the end..

But me.. and other killjoys and members of MCRmy, are devastated. i know what MCR was to me. I will never be able to truly say how much i love and cherish them. I dont know what to write for you guys. i really dont. my mind is in a fog and i cant see much because tears have been in my eyes ever since i found out... im hoping this isnt really the end. im hoping its just a bad dream.. a nightmare... one of the worst. I mean... a bunch of people related to MCR said "Excited for whats next for the boys" something like that... theres gotta be something else.... doesnt there?.... My chem wouldnt just leave us with a paragraph...

yes Gerard long tweeted, but thats not enough... it cant be. it wont be.. i feel like they may have something up their sleeves...

do you ever feel like you're so numb, with emotional and mental hurt that you just cant move?
do you ever feel like you're never gonna be enough?
do you ever feel like your world is crashing?
do you ever feel like everything around you is your fault?
do you ever feel like because its your fault, you may as well not be here?
do you ever feel like crying, but you've already cried too much so you cant?
do you ever feel like... you dont know anything anymore?
do you ever feel like you wish you could be alone, but you're scared of what your thoughts would do to you?

hmm...

first off I dyed my hair purple last night. joy joy. lol... umm yeah. so i guess i like it!

well, im so very confused. of course there's 2 guys involved with confusion.

one, (not saying real names) , Ive liked him for a while. i feel i mightve already discussed this but he flirts with me all the time (i obviously send it back) and he cares about me. hes always wanting me to smile, calls me pretty, tells me to stop wearing makeup, to think better of myself stuff like that. and well,,, he makes me smile.. i can have the shittiest day but if he walks into the room, i feel better and smile.. i do think about him a lot too.

Can anyone see the story behind it?
I dont know what to title it either.. lol
and yeah the picture.. i just like it alot :)
~~~~~~
I like tormenting you because you've let me be,
for days you havent touched me, but now we'll see.
I'll call your name and shine,
yes, i see that twinkle and want in your eyes.

You know you can trust me,
I've always been here for when you were in need.
Im sharp and soothing,
forget this happy go lucky movie.

Girl, warm me up with your skin,
no, dont throw me in that trash bin.
I know I start to succeed when up pick me up,
now let me feel that warm lucious blood.

You shiver when i touch you,
so slide and do what you want to.
I call your name loud when you hesitate,
Shh its not to late.

I start cooling again,
sweetie, we've got to remember the plan!
What are you doing? I dont belong there,
you're just scared!

I scream out to you,
but now you dont approve.
Try to silence me bitch, and you'll see,

Can anyone see the story behind it?
I dont know what to title it either.. lol
and yeah the picture.. i just like it alot :)
~~~~~~
I like tormenting you because you've let me be,
for days you havent touched me, but now we'll see.
I'll call your name and shine,
yes, i see that twinkle and want in your eyes.

You know you can trust me,
I've always been here for when you were in need.
Im sharp and soothing,
forget this happy go lucky movie.

Girl, warm me up with your skin,
no, dont throw me in that trash bin.
I know I start to succeed when up pick me up,
now let me feel that warm lucious blood.

You shiver when i touch you,
so slide and do what you want to.
I call your name loud when you hesitate,
Shh its not to late.

I start cooling again,
sweetie, we've got to remember the plan!
What are you doing? I dont belong there,
you're just scared!

I scream out to you,
but now you dont approve.
Try to silence me bitch, and you'll see,

$489,716.27!!!!!!!!!!! for many people who needed money for charity we raised that much.

29 hours of dancing, alot of aching and pain, and crying, we all made it for the good. im so proud of me, my friends, my whole school. we beat and rocked the clock. had a great time though. bunch of people came to support the wonderful people who have survived caner, epilepsy, tumors, and more that we were raising money for.

had a great time.me and my friends ran around pumping everyone up around 3 am because people were loosing energy. i didnt sleep during the 2 hour sleeping break (probably shouldve) but i never gave up. never gave into the pressure of trying to sleep, and had a great time. :)

Im just so happy we made that much money for those recipients.. :)

~Ritalin Lithium~

well, as i said in my last blog, its spirit week because we have this awesome 28-36 hour dance on friday :D

tuesday was tiedye day
and yesterday was neon day...

two of the most colorful days of the year xD i have a love.hate relationship with my school. full of pride, but hate most people there..

Todays matching shirt day, I might have a picture..

but tie dye from left to right, is my friend Briannah, Meghan, Megan (lol yeah), Adrianne, Me, then in front is my little buddy, Mayo (michael)

its great :) loveeed neon day though :)

~RitalinLithium~

Yeah i dyed my hair again! :D im also getting approval on gauges (not huge ones) :)
well i was messin around outside lol, if u look at the second picture.
but yeah, sooo this is my hair, im doing my whole head this color next time! CANT WAIT!

umm sorry i havent been on in a while if you follow my blogs and storys and all that. ive been busy with school and all that crap. depression almost got to me and i had to make sure i got a hold of that, but im okay :)

This friday is something huge in my school and im so excited!!!!!! its called SHMD or South High Marathon Dance. SHMD is this event held every March in my town. Students, grades 9-12, gather to raise money and dance for an amazing 28 hours straight, all in the name of local people and charities who need help.

Feedback would be nice :) i dont mind if its "mean" I need the criticism to get better! :) so id greatly appreciate it if you could read, killjoys :)
Love, Ritalin Lithium
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death Angel's P.O.V
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyes fly open to the sound of a big BOOM!

I groan and flip onto my back, staring at the ceiling, and push the blankets down to my knees. Time to wake up apparently.

I've been on the run ever since Bl/ind took over with my friends, well family, Madd Hatter, Stitched Heart, and Striped Bandit. When we were looking for a hide out, or home all we could find was a place next to a Killjoy Base that tests their artillery every single morning at 5:56 am. So that's when my day begins. Everyone else can usually sleep through it.