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okay guys...whether u gonna read this or not,,i'm gonna post it anyway..

first of all..
i feel unwanted, worthless and useless right now,, not gonna hurt myself..
but idk,,,im feelin shity these couple days..
and really dunno how to cope with it,,,
i mean,,
i really like a total freak for people around me for being in love for years with MCR,,

but this is the hardest fuckin real life for now,,
i cant understand why people around me raised their eyebrows for me being me,,
or when i say "Frank Iero is my hero"
or when i put on eyeliner, black tshirt
or the fact that i have tattoo ( O.o) of cherry after Frank's baby girls..

i tried not to give a fuck of those absurdities...

i'll be off for a whole week,,
perhaps checkin a bit if i can and if im not busy enough to think why this shit happen..

okay,,,hope things are great for u...
stay beautiful and keep it ugly!


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anybody help please?

i badly wanted to sing the way Gerard sing,,
anybody knows how?


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letter u...

u are all fab killjoys!!!!!!!

love u all_hugs

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i really..really need to get rid of this feeling of wanting to kill someone,,,

(not literally killing of course)...

i just hate someone who abandon and or neglect anyone which they
previously claim to be their closest one,,,,,

it just not fair,,,at all,,
that is the meanest thing somebody could do...


u guys,killjoys, really is my only refuge...
thank u,, :(

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There was a wonderful Killjoy by the name of LisaisaUnicorn who posted a very sad blog entry saying "goodbye." WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!!!! I SAY WE SIGN THIS AND REPOST TO SHOW HOW MUCH WE CARE ABOUT HER AND WANT HER TO CONTINUE LIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love her and she should not even THINK about EVER taking her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Signatures! <3

1:BulletproofRevenge (LOVE YOU! STAY STRONG!)
3: black riot (MCRmy's always there for you!)
4: Black Unicorn ( Stay strong, It will get better)
5: Jill The Ripper (Don't give up hope. Keep laughing, keep living.)
6. MillieD xxx
7. Huw Edwards (Every little helps) ;) x
8. Deathwisher85
9. Transmission Solar
10. Avenging Jester
11. Baby Poison
12. Catastrophic Plague (The MCRmy needs you! We all love you!! <3)
13.Poison Shot ( please dont go no matter how hard life is keep moving forward the mcrmy loves you we are your family)

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calling mom,,

it just an ordinary
"hello mom,,, how are u?every things fine?"
she sounded sad and miss me,,,
and tried so hard to hold the tears,,,,

but she really respect my choices to go out from home,,,
looking for my own life,,,though its hard for her to let me go..

and sean things,,we just messed up,,seems never gonna be brother again,,
like complete stranger to each other,,,,

i dont know,,,

she said, "love u,,take care,,go and win ur life,,,"
seems like there is a huge heavy coffee table in my chest,,,
i can hardly breath,,,,


love u mom...
love u guys,,

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chanelling my anger into something creative..

that is the best thing i could think....XD

*feel shity....

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My Chemical Romance


thanks :)

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im feelin alone part 2

the horror movie didn't work...
im listenin to skylines and turnstiles..
and thinkin of idk..
im really not in a good mood..

anybody know how to occupied myself so that i dont need to think of scratch or cut myself???
those thoughts haunted me these lately...
and i've been trying so hard,,,,,,
in these three weeks not to go around and take needle or sumthin sharp,,,
and those thoughts just haunting me,,

im feelin useless and worthless and alone,,,

what should i do?
i dont want to hurt myself anymore.....

things are quite awful these couple days,,,

i need to smoke a lot but i just cant with all those fuckin people around me,,,,

crap,,,,idk what to write,,,,
just anybody tell me what to do,,
i just want to get rid of the idea of hurting myself...


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i'm feelin alone...

okay then...

im going to watch horror movies...