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a faint cheers

well,,im kinda not feeling okay,,literally..
it's like my mind jumping around and i got sick and dizzy.
what the fuck happen with me?
i have no idea.
*sigh
what the fuck shit happen at the most unbelievably right time????
i hate being in this states of mind.
anyways, coffee anyone?

XOXOXO
and the pic was on google pretty much telling how awful im feeling right now

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it just a rant

well, im wanna get my second tattoo as soon as possible,
it will be "Stay Beautiful Keep It Ugly"
it will be Stay Beautiful on my left hip and then Keep It Ugly on my right hip.
they will have a different font i guess,,
what do you guys think about it?
am so pissed off that people call me name or call others name just because they're overweight (me) or have weird hair (me) or anything.
it just i dont know,,
SUCK!

*sigh

XOXO

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The Only Hope For Me is You Alone

well,,
it might be weird, i just feel so low and upon hearing this song.
i just fuckin bawling my eyes out.
am i that pathetic?

XOXO

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i need your help

okay guys, if you are ready to help me, here's the story.
im teaching a group of teenagers in a sorta shelter or foster home in Indonesia.
well, this program were aim to equipped the teenagers facing globalization, bully, to foster their confidence, to build their character so that we can prevent them of going to street and working as a child worker. this program also aim to equipped the teenagers to build their hard working character.
so, seems to be im facing a big shit deal with their behavior. they're ignorance, violence and i just couldnt describe it.
im disappointed, more toward myself than them.
im questioning myself, whether im doing good, am i wrong, is there something missing, or am i to old to understand them.
i mean i understand you all.
i understand all your creative energy, how you all so positive and cope up everyday to make the world better place to live.
i just can't get it.

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9/11 and happy bDay Dad_in memoriam

9/11 is suck,
it's my dad bday also.
i hope you guys okay,,

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unicorns and oh, Hppy Bday Mikey!

Hpy Bday Mikeeeyyyy!!!

okay, enough the shouting and cheering, i just feel like i wanted to post this..
i was woke up and feel like i couldnt trust no one.
was that possible to do that?
i mean woke up and then decide never to trust anyone?
musing on this thought i was like, i dont know.
i mean, i just plain weird guys.
how could you not trust anyone,and pretending it?
i was thinking that, all of this time i might be a fuckin awesome actress who could just act it up, pretend that i was all bubbly and happy and smiley.
and inside i was just keep the truth of being not trusting anyone?
im sick!
i must be insanely sick!!
o my fuckin god!
i can not believe that i might have those thought in my mind, or my mind just trick me as always?

XOXO

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it's probably because i already had 2 cups of coffee

and im starting the third cups,
well,,
work and task and chores take over my life,,
and i have no idea how shity things i deal with right now could end up,,
i just want to do things and get it done and stuff,,
and not need to worry about any fuckin single things
and i want to get my second tattoo,,
i just dont know what the fuck im dealing with..

and i was forget!
i was forget how beautiful the bands really are, until yesterday or last night
(fuck the timezone thingy!!)
you guys post some of their old pics,,
i was nearly cried myself a river,,
(because im pathetic fuck like that!)
FUCK!
how could i forget?
i feel so shity somehow,,

and those who has the downfall, the hardest day of their life, the shitiest moment at school or anything that complete messed up,,
stay strong, stay who you are and keep the faith!
you guys are not alone!
i fuckin love you all!

XOXOXO

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i feel ugly, old and fat!

you guys are so beautiful!
nope, this is not a self pity blog or something like that,,
just have a great day!

XOXO

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Evan trigerred me,,to be honest,,

LOL

XOXOXO

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sometimes scrolling down FB made you realize how long time already goes by,,

so, i decided to check on my FB and scroll down my friends wall,,
then suddenly i realize how old i am,,
friends come and go, married and have a kid.
i'm still here,,
how difference our option, our decision are,,
how difference our complicated our life is now,,
no one actually stay,,
no one
except you, yourself,,
stand for yourself!
dont give a single fuck of people telling you!
because eventually, you'll find your own way

XOXO