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Im Still Alive!

So its been awhile since I been here and alot has changed since then. I had to move:( sucks cause I have no friends yet where im at now. I miss my old friends alot:( I been really sick and the doctors are doing 9 million test to figure out what is wrong. Basically I cant eat and I sleep alot and when I try to do stuff I get so tired and weak. In other news I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) by my therapist apparently this why I lock the doors when Im by myself and cant sleep in the dark. Moving was suppose to help me get away from bad memories so my parents say. Also, my girlfriend cheated on me and broke up with me while I was in the hospital. I thought that was really nice, NOT!!!! Im trying to move on. I dont believe in love, it sucks and it hurts alot:( So im still alive and wondering why.

ayla77's picture

Im Still Alive!

So its been awhile since I been here and alot has changed since then. I had to move:( sucks cause I have no friends yet where im at now. I miss my old friends alot:( I been really sick and the doctors are doing 9 million test to figure out what is wrong. Basically I cant eat and I sleep alot and when I try to do stuff I get so tired and weak. In other news I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) by my therapist apparently this why I lock the doors when Im by myself and cant sleep in the dark. Moving was suppose to help me get away from bad memories so my parents say. Also, my girlfriend cheated on me and broke up with me while I was in the hospital. I thought that was really nice, NOT!!!! Im trying to move on. I dont believe in love, it sucks and it hurts alot:( So im still alive and wondering why.

ayla77's picture

Im Still Alive!

So its been awhile since I been here and alot has changed since then. I had to move:( sucks cause I have no friends yet where im at now. I miss my old friends alot:( I been really sick and the doctors are doing 9 million test to figure out what is wrong. Basically I cant eat and I sleep alot and when I try to do stuff I get so tired and weak. In other news I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) by my therapist apparently this why I lock the doors when Im by myself and cant sleep in the dark. Moving was suppose to help me get away from bad memories so my parents say. Also, my girlfriend cheated on me and broke up with me while I was in the hospital. I thought that was really nice, NOT!!!! Im trying to move on. I dont believe in love, it sucks and it hurts alot:( So im still alive and wondering why.

ayla77's picture

Im Still Alive!!!!

So i't been like 3 months since I been here and a lot has changed since then. I had to move....:( Ive been really sick and going back and forth to doctor's to find out what is going on. ughhhh not fun at all. Also, found out I have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from some events that went on where I use to live. my family is trying to be supportive. so at least I got that. My girlfriend cheated on me with a guy and then tried to make it a 3 person relationship. Im still devasted:( It all went down while I was in the hospital. I was like oh wow thanks for cheating while i'm laying here in the hospital, how nice of you! NOT!!!!!!!!!! Im moving on slowly or at least trying to. So yep Im still here, fighting hard to be here. At times not sure why.

ayla77's picture

Im Still Alive!!!!

So i't been like 3 months since I been here and a lot has changed since then. I had to move....:( Ive been really sick and going back and forth to doctor's to find out what is going on. ughhhh not fun at all. Also, found out I have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from some events that went on where I use to live. my family is trying to be supportive. so at least I got that. My girlfriend cheated on me with a guy and then tried to make it a 3 person relationship. Im still devasted:( It all went down while I was in the hospital. I was like oh wow thanks for cheating while i'm laying here in the hospital, how nice of you! NOT!!!!!!!!!! Im moving on slowly or at least trying to. So yep Im still here, fighting hard to be here. At times not sure why.

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ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhh

So even though im doing good in school its exhausting... i have like 1 friend and that's it:( no one likes me cause im so shy and i dress differently than them. people can be so rude!!!! ugggggghhhhh ahhhhhh it drives me crazy!!!!:(

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this is me!

this is me! nothing amazing just me

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hanging in there

So just recently I moved from a small town where i always lived to the city. its kinda scary being a city girl now. im not use to the house yet so I have trouble sleeping... which is why im up now at 4am cause i heard weird noises outside my window....its freaking me out...anyways school is going ok. I made a couple friends:) still its hard not going back home to where im use to everything. i guess it will take awhile to adjust to everything.

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hurt:(

So I started school today:( im worried i dont think anyone in class likes me cause i dont dress like them and im really shy. i have alot going on lately and its driving me nuts. i just want time to myself and not have to worry about so much.

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last week of sleeping in

This is gonna be the last week of sleeping in then its back to school. I'm so scared! I never fit in and I always get picked on:( everyone thinks I'm an "emo freak" cause I wear black and listen to MCR, BVB, all time low, avenged sevenfold, blood on the dance floor. They love to make fun of me:( I hate it. Just cause I'm not like them they judge me