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Go For It

. Any scars? Yep. on my right knee from railroad spike that got stuck in it, my left hand from burns, and my sides from surgery
2. Crush? yeah my stupid boyfriend
3. Kissed anyone? yes
4. Coke or Pepsi? neither Dr pepper!
5. Someone you hate? nope
6.Best friends? yeah I have a few
7. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? yes, both and I regret it
8. What's your dream job? CSI: crime scene investigator
9. Ever been in love? yes
10. Last time you cried? when my boyfriend beat me up
11. Favourite color? black
12. Height? 5ft ' 3in
13. Birthday? May 29
14. Eye colour?brown
15. Hair color? black

May Is Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month: Johnny and Jake

So May is cystic fibrosis awareness month and this holds a place in my heart because my best friend and my first love, John Varnell "Johnny" and his brother Jake died from cystic fibrosis. Johnny was 15 and Jake was 17 when they passed away from this life threatening illness that causes too much mucus in the lungs. Johnny died waiting for a double lung transplant that he denied so his brother could have it first. Jake went on to have the transplant but his body rejected it and he too passed away a few months later. I miss my Johnny boy everyday.

I'm Not Okay

You know the moment when you realize your not okay? The moment you look up to see your whole world spinning out of control and there is no brakes to stop it. I saw that moment the other day. As much as I didn't want to face it the more it kept staring at me. It was right when I woke up too. I threw the covers off only too look down and see the bruises covering my legs and feel the pain of knot that is still there today. Everyone says abuse can be in so many different forms and hurt in so many different ways.

Dad to the Rescue

So I finally told my dad about my boyfriend and his controlling ways, I did leave out the part where he punched me. My dad was well um as any dad would be FUCKING PISSED. He flipped out and I mean flipped! Being his youngest daughter my dad is very protective which sometimes can be annoying, I mean he still calls me princess.....ugh. Anyways I don't think my boyfriend will be going to my dad's house anytime soon unless he has a death wish.

Lately I feel like shit. I'm not beautiful or anything but then I got to thinking WTF I'm myself so if people don't like it well then they can FUCK OFF as Frank would say Lol. So thank you Frank for the courage to say FUCK OFF my haters. Hope you guys can be yourselves too and know if people don't like it you can say FUCK OFF:)

Courage For The Day

Some courage for the day. If you ever feel alone or if you stand up for something you believe in and you find yourself standing alone just remember this

Let Me Know If This Sucks

So lately I been feeling depressed. My post traumatic stress disorder is getting to me and sometimes I don't even realize it. I use to write poetry a lot but gave it up...well now I been writing again. The stuff doesn't rhyme its just my thoughts that are running through my head about everything. Hopefully this one post ok. I never posted one here before but here it goes...oh please let me know what you think..honestly.

The smallest see can make the biggest difference
one match can start a million fires
from the depth of the largest ocean
to a snow covered mountain top
inside the solid earth

MCR OVER: No Peace For Me

Im depressed now that MCR is over. I was suppose to see them in concert when they toured with Blink 182 but I was really sick and never got the chance and now it will never happen:( I will always listen to their music cause they give me hope. I wish I could of seen them in concert:(

I Dont Feel Pretty

Ugh I dont know what it is lately but I just dont feel pretty or happy much. My confidence is really low and it sucks. Im just like oh god im so ugly and im skinny but that doesnt matter cause I think I need to loose more weight constantly. Everyone is like no your skinny enough and your pretty but I just dont feel like it

I Don't Feel Pretty

Ugh I dont know what it is lately but I just dont feel pretty or happy much. My confidence is really low and it sucks. Im just like oh god im so ulgy and im skinny but that doesnt matter cause I think I need to loose more weight constantly. Everyone is like no your skinny enough and your pretty but I just dont feel like it

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