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Asedfernas's blog

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Escape

Ever feel like you're too much of a financial burden to your parents or that they see taking care of you as an obligation rather than something they genuinely want to do? I feel like my parents go out of their way to make themselves unhappy and then they explain to me how they're unhappy because of me.
I grew up with two older brothers who were lazy af, but both geniuses. They failed a couple years of college just coz they didn't give their assignments in on time or other shit like that. I know I'm not as smart but I work twice as hard.

MCRmy cutting rumour

OMG guys, I'm so sick of everything that's going on. Yes, we're shocked and heartbroken and shaken but that's no reason to go cutting yourself because of this ordeal!! Even to joke about it is just nonsense!! It's his life, and yes, we're allowed to be concerned because of how closely we hold then to our hearts, but that's no reason to cut yourself. What about all of the MCRmy who really didn't know it was a joke and took it seriously and DID cut themself?

School and Other Drugs

So I'm in matric (grade 12). I always had this fantasy that my last day of school would be being Mikey, playing I'm Not Okay, stopping everyone while they're writing their exams or something. There were a lot of dreams I had. About MCR, about school. But slowly I'm learning to let it all go. I guess I'm gonna be ready for Danger Days soon. Coz I think that's what DD was about. Letting that person who was so full of hate and fear and loneliness go. I mean, no one can escape that person fully. As Gee says, it's our failures and depressions that make us who we are.

I really love Zone 6

I know it's probably said thousands of times before, but I really mean it. When I'm going through this timeline reading everyone's blogs, it's like this state of unity. "Ubuntu", if you will. But the way we all act as a family, supporting us...we're just one huge ass MCRmy. And that's beautiful. When I'm here, I'm home.

Losing hope

Is it me?? don't know..since when does MCR sell watches, play the game- make money from all these itunes shit parades...it just doesn't sound like them. When you think MCR, you think, they aren't gonna conform and be like all the other bands, they aren't gonna say we need to do this and this to keep our fans at their throats- they did it much better when they didn't sell stupid watches- it's like people or they themselves are doing stuff just to make money- when I watched that video on the home page it just...didn't seem like them- maybe I'm just high or slowly losing my mind

Happy bday Big G! You deserve all the happiness in the word

Happy birthday Gerard, you sassy thang!! You deserve all the happiness in the world! From all the shit you've gone thro',to the amazing person you've become. You're the strongest, craziest and most courageous person I'll ever know, the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned, an even BIGGER HERO than the one's you've created in you head put together and the one reason thro the chaos, I stay sane. Wishing you the best day ever! xoxo MCRmySOUTHAFRICA loves you!

Affirmations to myself

it's sickening how absent-minded some people can be. The boys in my class are always teasing me that MCR is gay and their music sucks but they haven't even heard it!! I just get so angry and it's like nobody around me knows what it feels like to really be touched by their music and how it makes you feel like you aren't alone and it's okay to be who you are. Even if it means you're just a lonely kid that doesn't fit in. MCR helps me enjoy being who I am. I couldn't be bothered about what people think of me, and it's thanks to them. I can live my own life, be who I wanna be.

Parentals

My dad likes Sing!! =D He heard it on radio yesterday morning and was like "well....this song has some meaning in it" ---I was overjoyed, I mean, he usually doesn't even classify MCR as music! Do anybody else's parents listen to MCR?

When I get old

When I'm 70 or 80 will I still be listening to MCR? I think so. If their music means so much to me now, wouldn't it mean more to me in death? I've been thinking about singing The Kids From Yesterday maybe the week I know I'm gonna die. They say you just get this feeling when you know your time's coming, like some people even start seeing their friends and family who've died

Chaotic Dreams

Last night I dreamed I was reading a hymn book and all of a sudden when I fliped to the next page I saw MCR's picture and the lyrics to some of their songs. Then in my dream I turned back to the previous page and there were more pictures of them and more songs....has MCR become my God? I don't know! It scares me but at the same time the dream was so so comforting-like- it was meant to be. I told my friend in school about it and she just said "yeah, you're going to hell, alright"- I knew she was joking but it still hit me- WHAT IF I AM?

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