Anne-Marie's blog

To all the Killjoys out there.
Please stay strong. This is not the end, we have their music and memories. This site will eventually finish. We still need to stick together. My twitter feed is full of MCR posts, you can join me my twitter name is DesolatedBoo. If you want some support please tweet me.
There is a reason, it will become clear. We are all a bit fragile at the moment but we can be fragile together.
We will carry on.
Killjoys never die.
To Gerard, Frank, Ray and Mikey
Thank you for your inspiration, your humour, your courage and support.
I support you in all that you do in the future, hopefully together. Never say never. We will see you again.

Love Anne-Marie
DesolatedBoo

I have mixed emotions. Sure the sadness and emptiness is there but there is also confusion.
I understand if the band needed to end for the sake of their own lives after all they have given 12 years to the music industry.
However I cannot believe that after 12 years there is just an empty emotionless statement. I can't believe that these men who are full of emotion and true to their fans just give one hollow statement.

I have mixed emotions. Sure the sadness and emptiness is there but there is also confusion.
I understand if the band needed to end for the sake of their own lives after all they have given 12 years to the music industry.
However I cannot believe that after 12 years there is just an empty emotionless statement. I can't believe that these men who are full of emotion and true to their fans just give one hollow statement.

I have not been myself recently. I'm usually able to provide support to some of your blogs.
I hit a wall of depression a couple of weeks ago, I have not hit that wall for years and it came like a bolt out of the blue. I was absolutely fine then I just felt this cloud looming over me, I randomly start crying, I hate being me at the moment. I can't shift it.
I have visited my GP, he offered me anti depressants and sleeping pills (I am only getting about 3-4 hrs sleep per night). I have refused them as it will not help the problem only mask it. I am going to go to a psychiatrist and speak to them about it.
I feel restless, sad, useless, trapped and hopeless. Thankfully I do not feel suicidal and do not want to self harm.
I can and will be able to pull myself out of this, I have before and I will again. I just wanted to let you know that i can do this and you can do this too. I just have to find the strength to pull myself up again.

Can you see any soldiers in this photo?
No neither did I when I was the taking the dogs for their walk this morning.
I didn't see them either when I was closer to them, which is is why I carried on singing LOUDLY.
It wasn't till I noticed Bailey and Pippa had fucked off somewhere and noticed that they were interested in a green mound. This mound turned out to be a soldiers hat, The soldier was under it.
If I could jog - which I can't, my feet, legs and head aren't co ordinated in the same way I kind of look like I am doing the charleston - I would have, just to have got away quicker.
I ended up doing the speed walk of shame.
Camouflage works tho!

Before I go any further, I shall point out that I love MCR with every ounce of my being. I have said before that its the combined lyrics, music, chemistry and history.
I may have also mentioned before, but if this is the first blog you have read of mine I will tell you that I am an EMT, I used to be a bouncer and I love kickboxing (its the only sport that I do like). With these combined I should be able go handle most things.
Now, I can look after myself and others and was kind of the negotiator when I was a bouncer. I got stuck in a corridor once while one of my colleagues beat the shit of someone and spent the whole time trying to stop him. It was wrong, the guy didn't deserve that kicking. I was usually able to talk my colleagues down and say when enough was enough.
I digress.

Spring is showing its self here in the UK. Had a really fab walk with my dogs, walking in the sunshine along a canal path, absolutely deserted singing to MCR - Loudly. Fucking perfect, love it.
I love not being at work, I know I moan about my job, but seriously, if I had a normal job I wouldn't be able to spend this much time with my family and walk my dogs. I love my dogs.

The gossipers need to shut the fuck up!
The end.

Does anyone else have the problem that they feel guilty if they listen to any other band than MCR?
I have to counteract my guilt by listening to an MCR track straight after. I feel like I have betrayed the band in some way.
I have a great music selection and can't listen to without feeling guilty! I know it's irrational, it's like OCD.

In fact, forget it, I have great taste and it isn't a problem listening to MCR - it's a pleasure, I love it!

Right, that's that sorted then.
- the rumblings of a nutty killjoy

Sorry my blog has duplicated