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my....well she's more than my best friend! more like a soulmate!
i love her! not in that way but she's the oly person who likes me how i am and i love her for that!
now i don't know what i have to do because she told me what happend to her. she was drunk and was with her friend and her friends uncle...well her friend buggered off and she was alone with this...person ...they were really drunk so he started kissing her and stuff ( he's about 20 years older than her!), she said he has to stop but he didn't. she got a mental blank and when she got back her memories it was like he raped her...

between friends and relationship....

do you know this feeling when there is someone you like but you're not sure if the guy likes you too?
i mean i don't know if i really like her in that way i just know that she's nice and she likes me even i don't know if it is in that way.
it started when we had a reunion with our youth-group in my village. she was in my confirmation class (wow now you'll think i'm one of those jesus-freaks...) and she was one of those few people who didn't looked at me like i'm a monster or whatever....just because i look different because i have a different style doesn't mean i'm a inferior person!
well she

bobs bp-drums on ebay

hey, i just saw thaat bob was selling his bp-drums on ebay a while ago...does anyone knows what happend to them. are they sold or...??
just wanted to know if anyone can answeaa me...

medicaation cake

blue hair

soo two days ago i dyed my hair blue...
i think it's a bit strange if you just know me blond but i like it

Happy fucking birthday!!!!!!

hey,
it's cool to can be one of he first guys who can celebrate bullets 10th birthday!
it's still one of my favorites!
i thank them so much for this album because their songs mean much to me!
even i hate time difference and it isn't the 23 in us.... HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY BULLETS FROM GERMANY!!!

one year in america

ok i got the letter!!!! WAAAAAAAAH

well i posted a blog i wrote that i wanted to go to america for a year....well i think i made a step on that way
they send me a letter and want to get to know me. so next month i will go to frankfurt and have kind of "interview" with them....if i won't tell tooooo much shit i have a chance to go to america and if i really have luck i get the scholarship....
i hope so because it's a lot of money.....my parents will get poor but they said if i really want that i can go....just have to get the place....i think my chance isn't sooo bad...i hope so...
haha ,aybe

confused

i'm confused. there's this girl. this girl i really like. she's my best friend and mybe the only person who really knows me. i know her from kind of forum and am writing with her since a year. we're texting every day and i really like her. we have this kind of joke to say she's my girlfirend and that we love each other...nobody unrstands but it's kind of funny. no one knows that i also like girls so they know it's not real i think. i just don't know if she also knows it's not real.
i just saw her once before she moved away. now she lives in poland.

cake time....

ok i feel better today and the only thing which can make you feeling even better is chocolate......soooooo i thing i'll make a cake....for me and my BROOOOOOOOOOOOO (i don't really like him but he will eat it anyway so...) and my mami and daddy.....yes....and maybe i'll send a piece to england because my sister works there as aupair and she's not allowed to eat sweets because the kids aren't......but it could get corrupt....i'll eat it for her!
ok my dad walked in and said he wants to make lunch.....so no caketime ow xD
later!
i'll send all of you a piece...fuck why am i so happy? xDDD

no one cares about bloody prints

i feel so used and dirty and...unclean.
i don't know.
i hate my life because noone caes about how i feel. i told my "best friend" how i feel and that i don't know why i feel like this and don't know how i could change this and when she asked why and i told her that i don't know she said ok......OK!

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm. The moderators have explicitly said that all posts containing self harm will be edited, with no exceptions. If you need somebody to talk to, you could ask people to message you and most people will be happy to help.

six weeks

yesterday was my last day at school....in six weeks i'll be in 9th class.....till that day i have nothing to do. i think rhe most of y friends will igrnore me for the next three weeks so i have enough time to do nothing, write more fanfiction and be depressed because noone cares.....ok i just write this because i had a shitty day....because yesterday was a shitty day........
i mean i was really sad and felt like i have to cry ( belive me i would have cryed if i ws alone) and noone cared!

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