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All We Are Is Bullets Part 13

It's been like a month since I've posted this - I did not intend for that to happen- and I tend not to write my best work at 2:30 but here you go!

Tammy's POV:

My heart sunk, I bet Sierra's would be leaping for joy if she still had one.

"Why?" I asked forcing myself to keep my voice steady.
She shrugged ,"for the sheer pleasure and I'll explain some other things in time"
"But I'm your sister"
"I know we don't exactly see eye to eye but you could honestly kill your own flesh and blood and feel no regret or remorse"
"You stopped being my sister the second I found out what you are"
"But you're a mons-" I began but she cut me off.
"Deal or no deal?" she snapped.
I knew what I had to do, "You'll keep your word? You'll cure him?" I asked.
"Would I lie to you?" she snorted.
I raised an eyebrow.
"I know you think I'm a monster but I'm not a liar", she smirked, she headed over to the cabinet "I actually have some dignity, believe it or not."

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6 years ago today this beautiful girl was taken for us for being different.Thankfully the S.O.P.H.I.E charity was set up to prevent this kind of thing from happening and a lot of awareness was raised to it but that can't bring this beautiful angel back. Of course "goths" and "emos" are often targeted by others because they're "unusual", I think "unique" is a better word though. I remember reading about it when it happened and being absolutely horrified, what has the world come to? It's perfectly fine to murder someone because you don't like the way they dress or the music they listen to!? How shallow do people have to be? Without anyone being different or original the world would be so boring, you may as well paint everything in the world grey because nothing would be special because it was stamped out by the ignorance of others. People need to have an open mind, it wont kill them but having a shallow and narrow one actually has killed!

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Reading Festival

This will forever and always be the most stressful weekend of every year because I spent it freaking out about BBC's abilty to fucking leave us know on the TV when what bands on when, right now BMTH is on and the fucking thing is telling me that Doctor Who is!! I also spam everyone on Twitter with fangirling! Anyway I spent the whole summer looking forward to watching this firstly because it''s fucking epic and secondly because I spent the remaining week of summer and the whole of September fantasizing about playing it myself, oh but not only playing it I dream about headlining it with Ray and playing Welcome To The Black Parade! It will be glorious!! I'm also trying to spot Dan & Phil and Fearless Vampire Killers in the audience, sadly without success so far! Fall Out Boy are playing Sunday so I can't wait! One day I will go okay!!

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Don't mind if I do!

I got a Share A Coke today with Gerard's name on it, I'd totally share with Gee except we're in different continents so that would be impossible. I did tweet it to him though in the hopes that he'll reply and make my life!
- Ash xx

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I don't even know what to call this.... shitty fucking day?

My FVK show got cancelled. I've wanted to see them for two and a half years and I was finally gonna do that but Madina Lake had to cancel the show. I'm not one of those fans who throw a hissy fit when they can't go to gigs, and FYI I was travelling 4 hours to go to this and willing to wait 7 hours before hand just to meet them or get to the front, I'd camp outside and spend my entire lives savings if I could so saying that I'm upset would be an understatement! I don't blame them for this. I'm not mad or angry though because these things happen but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't crying as I write this... I missed MCR twice in one year and then... you know... I love FVK almost as much as I love MCR so you have no idea how much I wanted to see them and meet them. And it was really really important for a friend that I talk to Shane (Barrone) for her, like super important. All their English fans have seen them like 4 times now, this was gonna their first show in Ireland.

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*Proud Mom moment*

I wrote this blog yesterday but then my laptop decided to fuck up on me so I'm doing it again! So I doubt any of you remember this but 2 and a half years ago I posted a blog about this band, they'd just been mentioned in Kerrang for the first time, and we're trying to built a fanbase I fell in love with them instantly. That band's second album is being produced by William Control AND they announced yesterday that they'll be touring America with him so to all you American Killers out there you better be good to my babies and let them come back in one piece!! And if you haven't heard of them yet then feast your eyes and ears on one amazing fucking band! I'm actually like super protective over FVK because I've been a fan since almost the beginning, I've heard of some people who've been with them since Battle of The Bands!

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Our little Mini Ray covering The Light Behind Your Eyes

Chills. Her voice gives me chills every time I hear it. This is so beautiful. I'm trying so hard not to cry right now. Seriously, there are genuine tears in my eyes. Grace has a bright future, we all know it, very few people are as talented as her and I know our little Killjoy's gonna be incredible, hell she already is! So get yourself some tissues and listen to the best MCR cover there ever was!

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Go with your heart, not your head.

DO you ever get a really good feeling about something, like a really strong gut feeling and you know in your heart that it's right? Well that happened to me today, this summer I planned on doing all sorts of shit with my band but long story short; holidays get in the way because no one is here at the same time! (and now school will.. *shudders*) but today our lead singer/one of the greatest people I have the pleasure of calling my friend and I bought a notebook and literally planned out what were gonna do, like we got alter-egos, two ideas for concept albums and even wrote a song in the middle of the park and we both felt this fucking adrenaline going through us, like it felt so right! I felt like my heart was gonna leap out of my chest because I've never wrote a song with anyone else before. I tend to follow my gut and I've always had a good feeling about her and the band name so... I know. I know, it's a one in a million chance and whatnot but someone's gotta play on Warped?

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Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty...

Any ATL fans here? I saw them last year (August 20th to be exact) and it was the greatest concert I have ever been to - which is saying a lot cause I was actually bawling my eyes out at PTV- and at the gig I recorded this song on my phone (that's not my video), even though it was shitty quality and I was really far away I'd watch it whenever I felt like I was going crazy and it made me feel better, sure ATL didn't save my life like MCR did or help me as much as MCR did but this song means the world to me and hearing it live last year was a dream come true. Before my first therapy session last December I watched it so much that I'm surprised my phone didn't break! The video got deleted so I'm gutted, like I actually feel like crying right now so God bless Youtube but it's not the same because my video was from where I could see Alex, it brought back so many memories.

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Book suggestions? Pleeeeease!?

So I already have a shit load of books to read all ready - Like Pete Wentz's one- but it's been a really long time since I've ever read a book - a science fiction one- that's so good that I actually cannot bring myself to put it down, I just can't find any good books anymore. Everything I've read in the past few months has just been lacking a story line that's so good that I can't put the book down and the characters are just meh so I never get attached to any of them or are just aimed at 13 year olds and I'm 17 so... like in the past few months I have actually read fan-fiction better than lots of the books the library has. I LOVE reading so this is really bothering me so any suggestions? Right now I just need one that is not set in the real world okay. I just really miss good books. I'm really into demons/vampires/magic etc but DO NOT SUGGEST TWILIGHT so something along those lines. Please? I'll love you forever if you tell me what to read!