Aisling_xx's blog

I had the greatest weekend ever: went to "prom" (not an actual prom just a bunch of kids in dresses and suits in a fucking youth cafe) but at prom I found out that the guy I liked likes me so so you can guess what's happened now (YES!!!) but my parents don't know yet and I don't know how to tell them, then Saturday was the greatest fucking birthday (not my birthday my friends) I've ever been to because we watched FullMetal Alchemy til like 6am and had a Tardis cake and I learned that Tenacious D is like the best movie ever! So I was on a high which is weird for me because normally I'm super fucking depressed around this time except now a mysterious girl on ask.fm fucking despises me and my boyfriend.....

I hate posting blogs like this but I need advice.... so this guy, I like him, a lot but I'm no where near good enough for him, honestly he deserves the very best. The last time I liked a guy he proceeded to rub it in my face that all the other girls were so much better than me after finding out how I felt so needless to say I'm really cautious now, but I may have missed my chance with this guy. My friend keeps telling me to flirt with him but we've bonded over the fact that we both go to therapy and the fact that both our schools consist of all the assholes in the fucking country in one place so I can't exactly start flipping my hair and be like "oh my god your so funny!!" when he's telling me about kids treating him like shit all the time, I just get so mad when he tells me that because I can't bear the thought of anyone hurting him! I just wish he could be happy and I wanna make him happy so badly but I can't.

So I've had this idea for a fan-fic for a really long time, Wayyy before the break-up, and I'm not giving anything about it away but I don't know whether or not I should post it. I mean I really want to but all the other ones I've wrote have had the guys in it but no reference to the band, this was does, the whole story doesn't revolve around the band but I can't write it without them being My Chemical Romance because it's set back in the Bullets days (and a little bit of Danger Day). To be honest I'm not 100% sure where we stand with fan-fiction anymore... now I'm not talking about Ferard or anything like that *shudders* because I DON'T write that, I'm talking about story's with the guys as characters. So I was wondering if anyone would actually read it or is it just gonna end up making us all cry again because even if the didn't break up it would still gonna rip your heart out....

So umm.... I really wanna read The Catcher In The Rye because it sounds like a really good book but my family thinks I shouldn't read it - actually they're trying to stop me from reading it - because according to my brother and sisters English teacher if you have "anger issues" you shouldn't read it because supposedly back in the 50s some guy read it and then went on a killing spree....I don't have anger issues, Okay a lot of shit has been done to me through out my life that I have every right to be pissed off about but I've never "acted out" or anything like that yet my family honestly thinks that I could become a potential serial killer because of a book. Lovely, eh? My own family thinks I could actually murder someone (I swear I wont!) So if any of you guys have read it please tell me whats so bad about it? Man out of everything I've ever been called or accused of this by far is the most insulting....

Guys, when the fuck did Frank do this!? I just found it now!! It sounds like an anti-Christmas version of DeathSpells! And that's not a bad thing because I think I like this. But yeah leave it to Frank to sing a Christmas song basically about hating Christmas. All I'm thinking is Bah-Humbug!! Even though it's April... but hey I can't be the only one that randomly finds themselves listening to them at the wrong time of year!!

So most people spent their Sunday’s dreading going back to school on Monday but not me since I go to Hogwarts School For Witchcraft and Wizardry. And Gryffindor is bound to win the House Cup this year although it hasn’t been half as fun in Hogwarts since Fred died.... and if you think Hegwig is cool you should check out my owl, it’s Way better! Later Muggles....

*cries* because Hogwarts doesn’t exist and I hate my school with a burning passion.

So yeah, 48 hours walking in the fucking wilderness with people from school and I didn't die!! Although I feel like my legs are gonna fall off after those fucking steps and hills of death killed me! And of course I was the asshole that talked through every single possible horror movie scenario ever! But obviously having over 40 teenagers in on house in the middle of a fucking forest means that shit is gonna go down. So we come back from dinner to find vasaline all over the toilet seat and the door handles and salt in the beds and bags. Needless to say the teachers we're not impressed. And don't get me started on the bed I was in *shudders* I don't even wanna know where the used tissue, the dirt and all the hair on my mattress came from so I was afraid to go to sleep. So yeah I've had two cups of coffee today and I'm still tired and I don't wanna stand up. Aside from that it was alright, freaking the fuck out at 1AM wasn't fun though....How was your day?
Stay Beautiful, Keep It Ugly

This is for school but I want some feedback on it so you guys wanna read it? There's this quote saying that butterflies can't see their wings so they don't know how beautiful they really are, it's the same with people. I know so many people who don't realise how truly beautiful they really are, so that's what this poem is about. And personally butterflies symbolize recovery for me because of The Butterfly Project. So I'd appreciate it if you guys left me know what you think?

Flap your fragile wings, little butterfly,
Fly not fall.
You can't see your own beauty,
only whats reflected back at you,
distorted by insecurity,
not what you really are.

You're every colour of the rainbow;
Red, orange, green.
You're not as black and dismal as you believe,
So flap your wings, little butterfly.
Fly not fall,
don't be grounded by insecurity.

So basically as part of some award thing in school we have to do this massive walk over two days so we get to go camping (or stay in a hostel) with the school. I like walking but when I'm walking I end up really deep in my thoughts (thus meaning I almost get run over at least 3 times a day) so I don't mind going, I generally live in my head so we could be in the fucking desert and I probably wouldn't even notice (no actually I would, I'd look for Draculoids) but it pisses me off if I'm thinking about something, reading or listening to music and someone try's to talk to me, I'm like "dude do I look like I wanna have a conversation right now!?" although I'm the uncoolest kid in my year (yay!) so they should leave alone. And I kinda hate 90% of my year... I can barley stand 6 hours of them a day let alone spend 2 days in the wilderness with them! But as long as I have my iPod and food it should be fine.

Guys I shit you not this morning I saw a van that said "MCR cleaning services" and I nearly lost my fucking shit! So for a split second I thought "that could be a tour bus.... or have they gone from rockstars to cleaners?" (okay imagine MCR cleaning your house? They'd probably steal all your coffee!) but really someone clearly didn't hear of MCR when they came up with that name... and ever since then my day has been fucking weird but I'm not gonna bore you guys with the details. How's your day going?