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Christmas exams at my school start on Friday. I also have a music practical some time before next Thursday. Basically for music class everyone has to do a 'performance' for the teacher and the rest of the class while the teacher grades you for it. I actually haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. Normally I play something on my violin, but last practical I sang and got 97 percent. But it's easier to play the violin, and singing is way more nerve wracking. I don't really have a problem singing on front of people, I'm just afraid of not doing the song justice.


Ever feel like you're too much of a financial burden to your parents or that they see taking care of you as an obligation rather than something they genuinely want to do? I feel like my parents go out of their way to make themselves unhappy and then they explain to me how they're unhappy because of me.
I grew up with two older brothers who were lazy af, but both geniuses. They failed a couple years of college just coz they didn't give their assignments in on time or other shit like that. I know I'm not as smart but I work twice as hard.

This time for real...

The first time. I was going to do it. I felt happier. I felt like I could leave it behind.
I couldn't keep away for more than a week.
The second time. I was determined to end it. I wanted the ginger back. I wanted the life back. I wanted the girlfriend gone. Heck, I don't know where my life was going at the point. I lost a father and a girl I lost my virginity to. I wanted to be with her as did she with me. I blew that out of existence.
The third time. I was happy. I was more than happy. I felt myself reaching out to the light, my fingers getting warmed by the rays of a pure future.

My chemical romance

I've been really upset about mcr lately. Just thinking about the music and the band makes me feel really sad, whenever I look at my posters of them I feel like crying. I guess I've always been so hopeful and that they'd get back together that I tried not to consider what it would be like if they never get back together.

So a Birthday and an AWOL concert

So this passed sunday was my birthday! yay! Happy Bday to me again! ( like five days later). So that day was pretty good. My family visited, and I received gifts, and had two cakes. To be honest, the gifts were not big or expensive. But I truly appreciate all of them, and the fact that my 'family' showed up in the first place. See, my family is pretty weird, I think. We are not the types to like really show how we feel. So having them show up, congratulate me and with presents, well to be honest I was surprised. But I am really appreciative of the fact that they did.