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goals for the actualised self

so i think i'm dying kind of, or like in a big process of heavy change that i have no control over.
i'm trying to get better at interpersonal relationships, and i've said this to anyone who will listen that "look, i'm trying to get better", you know. like i'm acknowledging all my shit and looking at it and saying yep, yes, all that is bad and i now need to change but it is awfully had.
so i feel like i'm dying kind of
i'm so fucking up and down the scale mood-wise nowadays it's pretty terrifying. i still feel like myself a bit.

The Dreaded March 22nd

Ughhhh my first March 22nd is in 9 days and the closer it is the more depressed and sad I get. Its not only cause they split its also because I know Mikey, Gee , Ray , and Frank are gonna get comments towards them on that day. SO IM BEGGING PLEASE DONT BE MEAN OR HURTFUL OR BLAME THE GUYS FOR THEIR SPLIT. THEIR HAPPY SO WE SHOULD BE HAPPY OR THEM :) :) :)
[ Also on that day I saw two things us MCRmy members should do] 1. we should all watch the WTTBP video so we can get it to most watched ( even though watching it will be very painful) and 2. Write killjoys make some noise on our arms .
I

The Dreaded March 22nd

Ughhhh my first March 22nd is in 9 days and the closer it is the more depressed and sad I get. Its not only cause they split its also because I know Mikey, Gee , Ray , and Frank are gonna get comments towards them on that day. SO IM BEGGING PLEASE DONT BE MEAN OR HURTFUL OR BLAME THE GUYS FOR THEIR SPLIT. THEIR HAPPY SO WE SHOULD BE HAPPY OR THEM :) :) :)
[ Also on that day I saw two things us MCRmy members should do] 1. we should all watch the WTTBP video so we can get it to most watched ( even though watching it will be very painful) and 2. Write killjoys make some noise on our arms .
I

Ten Days

Ten days, guys!!! I want to have like a big tribute to them, but I have no idea what to do. I'll probably at last post something on Instagram, but what? Just a "4 years..." or a pic, or song lyrics, maybe a snippet from the breakup letter? Goddamn I wish they were still together. I want to say how much I miss them, but how do you miss something you never had? And yet, I do. I miss them with all my heart. March 22 is going to suck. Speak of the devil, I'm listening to Tomorrow's Money at the moment.

hi ya y'all know what's that about

i miss mcr
so far
but that's okay
even if i'm not

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