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Personal Stuff

I'm trying not to cry right now...
I... you guys know the old bad habits I have? With blades... I relapsed not too long ago.. I've been trying not to since... but I did again this morning... I.. I had brought it to school with me, for some stupid goddamned reason... and I relapsed...
Afterwards, I found my love in the hallway. He knew I was upset, just not about what, until I showed him the blade... He held his hand out for it, so... I gave it to him... hesitantly, but I still gave it to him. We went to our separate classes, and I immediately wished I hadn't given it to him.

Life can change in a blink of an eye

I thought I lost one of my best friends last night


SO remember how I mentioned going to a day hospital and then getting discharged after a day cause it didn't work? well now we're talking about going to a CBAT (community based acute treatment). a CBAT is:

an intensive, short-term acute residential unit for children and adolescents experiencing behavioral and emotional difficulties. Often, the CBAT program is used as a diversion to an inpatient hospitalization. Treatment and stabilization is provided in a structured setting.

annoying mind

So hi guys, hope you are all good.
I had an alright day, it was okay I guess. I'm just really happy because I have a 3 day weekend where I am going to be watching MCR interviews and listening to my musicz a bit too loudly.
My mind is taking way too much control over me, if it's true that your mind isn't what makes you you, and there's something like a soul inside that really completes your existence.

School/In a bit of a predicament

Hi! Hope you all are doing good. Another day has come and gone. And boy am I glad. Today was absolutely batshit crazy.
If you read my blog called "The Flaming Pan" you'll know that my foods class is crazy. Weeeelll guess what! Today was equally as crazy in that class. We were cooking meat for an "experiment" to see how certain meats cooked differently and blah blah blah.
Well, I let my group of idiotic boys cook the meat today while I filled out the worksheet. And I honestly should stop letting them cook haha. Because they burned the meat so bad.