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Another one leaving? Oh this is too much!!!

Ok, I will live, but this really hit me tonight (er, this early morning). Was just beginning to sit down to read the blogs of BVBRyanMCR. And I really liked the format you used and that ...well crap! I hope it wasn't supposed to be a secret...but I'm a little bummed! And I hope you see this and come back!! (well, part of me. The good part only wants to wish you well. :) )

Well, so I will just repeat what I said in the comments (well i'll try). I'm nearing the end of a chapter in my life (perhaps that is why this struck me so deep), and also a beginning.

Well...

Things have changed since last month but I feel like I should start with hello. How are you guys holding up? I hope you are having a good december.
It feels like the days are dragging on and they never stop. I normally don't like school but this week i would rather stay there than be home. There are so many things that I'd like to say and so many people I want to talk to.. Yet so many homework assignments all due tomorrow. If anyone remembered or was curious, I think I'm better now. It's been a rough few months but I'm ready to leave that all behind.

Exams

Christmas exams at my school start on Friday. I also have a music practical some time before next Thursday. Basically for music class everyone has to do a 'performance' for the teacher and the rest of the class while the teacher grades you for it. I actually haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. Normally I play something on my violin, but last practical I sang and got 97 percent. But it's easier to play the violin, and singing is way more nerve wracking. I don't really have a problem singing on front of people, I'm just afraid of not doing the song justice.

Escape

Ever feel like you're too much of a financial burden to your parents or that they see taking care of you as an obligation rather than something they genuinely want to do? I feel like my parents go out of their way to make themselves unhappy and then they explain to me how they're unhappy because of me.
I grew up with two older brothers who were lazy af, but both geniuses. They failed a couple years of college just coz they didn't give their assignments in on time or other shit like that. I know I'm not as smart but I work twice as hard.

This time for real...

The first time. I was going to do it. I felt happier. I felt like I could leave it behind.
I couldn't keep away for more than a week.
The second time. I was determined to end it. I wanted the ginger back. I wanted the life back. I wanted the girlfriend gone. Heck, I don't know where my life was going at the point. I lost a father and a girl I lost my virginity to. I wanted to be with her as did she with me. I blew that out of existence.
The third time. I was happy. I was more than happy. I felt myself reaching out to the light, my fingers getting warmed by the rays of a pure future.

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