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Dead inside

Hai guys ;-; so I haven't been blogging for a while and I have a good reason this time xD ;-;
On Thursday when I came home my dad had some pretty sad news for me as after 2 and 1/2 years of having lung cancer my grandmother passed away so its been quite hard for me as you can all imagine

bye guys ;-;
-Eleanor <3

Friends, Art, Music.

Hey guys! How are you all? I'm feeling pretty good. Some awesome things happened today.
But before I get into all of that, I have an quick update on the whole Dallon thing. My friend Jane hasn't got back to me yet, but I decided I'm going to ask him tomorrow anyway. Because I feel like I should at least try. So hopefully that goes well.
But now let's talk about my day!
I ran into one of my childhood friends today. And she and I talked for almost an hour. We exchanged numbers and have been talking quite a bit. We decided that we should hang out and catch up.

mundane celebrations

there is joy to be found from wearing a shirt inside out. i guess, i've been falling out of bed upside down and then the day starts too quickly and my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. there's someone in the bathroom and i can't laugh because i've already cried this morning. i'm dancing around and i'm struggling to look at myself as the self-loathing gets a black start. hot coal pipes.
and then i roll around. i swing from mildly annoyed to enraged to sweetly convinced all is well. all they had to say as something. he looked at me funny and pretended that no one was real.

How To Fail High School

Here I am sitting in my English class, listening to my class read The Importance of Being Earnest out loud. And all I can think about is how I just spent the past half hour or so inside of my IB coordinator's office crying about my circumstances. Do you ever look back at your life and think about how you became you? Casual existential crises are common at my school, I guess, but I never want to think about how I am likely to be having an existential crisis at any given moment. The worst part?