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somewhat Shy

There's a friend of my who's shy and that i would like to help, my friend likes this person that's in the same school, they talk for few times at least once a week, the person makes me boiling mad becuz is totally playing with my friend, why here's an example, my friend sends text msgs most of the time but that person takes like forever to reply, and worse part when my friend invites the person to lunch and at last minute gives an excuse, i wish that person knew that my friend is very shy and has a hard time askin questions or talkin much my friend is sooo nice and calm and so talented i hate that that person plays with my friend's feelings and if that person doesn't want to be friends w/ my friend at least be smart enough to tell the truth and stop being a hypocrite w/ my friend, u never know if someone u like might do the same to u, this makes me so mad and sad at the same time, why can't people be nice and honest, dammit!


So I got a new job at Shamrock bowling alley, and it kinda sucks. But on the flip side, in less than two days my managers already love me working there, after not being sure about hiring me. I showed up saturday with my friends so they could do there league bowl and then she calls me back to her office. Turns out they went in to talk to her about a job and they threw my name out and she considered it and the deciding factor was that i fit the shirt. So i went and washed up and started working, and now all the other managers like me more than my two buddies who got me the job and are there every weekend since they were five. My specific job is to run the bounce houses, which sounds like fun but it sucks ASSSS. I have to work the bull (Picture it as a 100+ pound string puppet) 99% of the time, and if i'm not doing that, i'm cleaning tables and trash, and if its neither of those two, i'm cleaning the bounce houses.


So life has been more than good lately! I went on a date yesterday for the first time in years with a guy that I met through a dating website (we had talked A LOT beforehand and I also brought people along with me) and I had a lot of fun! He was really sweet and he treated me to lunch (even though I told him that he didn't have to more than once) and we walked around for an hour before sitting down and just talking face to face. He has gorgeous blue-ish hazel eyes and he has a strong, comforting feel about him. We've been talking ever since and we have agreed that we both want to be in a relationship with each other, so now I have a boyfriend who kinda treats me like a queen when he can (even if I know I can take care of myself in certain situations [god, when did I become miss independent?]).

Last Year

November 11 is coming up. Last year, Monday, November 11th I went impatient for the first time. Started my treatment that continues to this day.
I have problems with telling people what's going on inside me. I trust the wrong people and don't trust the right. I'm kinda with a kid named Alex now. I like him, and he seems to like me. But he has problems too. Simular to mine. He talks to me about his problems and feeling, witch is good. i try talking about mine and it's okay. But I'm so scared to talk about my emotions and everything that's happened with other kids. Why? It all leads back to J. J told me about their emotions and life and what was happening to them so much, that they sparked my mental health issues that were already present into a whole new level. What if I did that to someone? Broke them.