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This is how I disappear...

I wish you didn't have to disappear at this very moment when everything around me is spiraling downwards once again, chances are, this whole thing is a part of it.
I miss you. I think about you. Please don't forget that.
Flight xx


Endings to things - good and bad - are inevitable. I guess it's a glass half-full vs half-empty thing. They happen.
I just hate when you know a good thing will come to an end eventually in the future, but then it suddenly gets snatched away before you expected.
It sucks. I hate this so much.
It might not even be the end but I'd be stupid to think things are going to be as they used to be from now on.


I can't be on this website as often now. My mom has revoked most of my internet privileges.

Here's why.

She found every scar on my wrist on Saturday. I spent yesterday in the hospital for a psychological evaluation.

Everything I love is gone now. She took my music. She took the internet. She took my best friends.

Sorry, Beni. Sorry, Z. Sorry everyone else. I'll talk to all of you soon, I promise.

Until then, my comments may be scarce, only now and then.

I can't stop crying, and I'm terrified for the future.

Sorry in advance.

I'll be back soon.

Eternally, xoPP

My Own Personal Fail-safe

Fail-safe just reminds me of Gerard's letter tbh...

Anyway, a more personal blog post.

There was a point in my life (around a year ago maybe, it blurs) where I didn't exactly want to exist anymore.

I did, but I didn't.

Which makes no sense at all, but what I mean is that every night I would lie there and my brain would seemingly automatically start thinking of all the ways I could end my life. Not fun. And I couldn't seem to stop myself. Did I really want to die?

Update On things?

I haven't been too bad lately, on the subject of mental state. I was very poorly for a long while, especially in recent weeks. I'm not going into detail, obviously, but this is a little note of my progress in the pursuit of happiness.

Anyway, I've actually been really connected to Blink 182 lately. I've liked them forever. Of course, never as much as MCR. No one could ever match you. But specifically Adam's Song.

"I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow held such better days
Days when I could still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is