The Green-Eyed Monster

I am really jealous of all of you who have someone you can truly depend on.

Not your parents or friends or family members. I'm talking about those not bound to you by blood, but by spirit, by soul.

Right now there are so many things going on that i can't handle and a truck load of emotions that are boiling inside of me waiting to erupt; i can't help but feel alone. Even with friends that I trust and a mother and sister that I love, I feel utterly alone. I have no one that is so close to me that I can just go to them and tell all my fears, my problems, and my wants. I envy you who have that. Who have someone that will stick with you til the end, i.e. your true love.
Actually, scratch that last comment, that you have A love is what I envy. When you are hurt or just need to snuggle (like all girls do when on our period), you have someone who is happy to make you feel better.

God! I hope this is making sense to the few of you who will read this, cause i'm trying my best to explain the frustration and hopelessness that i feel practically everyday it seems!

I just want to be loved by someone. I want to feel...really stupid cliches keep poping into my head and they are all right but don't correctly manifest my emotions.

I am tired of being alone.

I am tired of always feeling that I'm missing out on something great, and of feeling that I will always miss out.

I want to feel whole. NO empty spaces. NO masking my emotions for other peoples well being.

I want freedom.

I want Love.