Okay, so, I need a bit of advice, as I'm a little scared and kind of worried.
So my singer has gone away with her family to Texas for a month. We're supposed to meet up for practice when she comes back, for two days a month on Saturdays. I've been getting kind of bored lately, and keep wanting to ask my bassist if she wants to just hang out. Which kind of gives me anxiety. Which made me realize something.
They've actually asked me to hang out a couple of times before, but I had to pass up. It has just dawned on me that they might, at some point, want to do that "friends" thing. And I kind of have a bad track record with that whole "friends" thing.
Maybe it was a naïve thought, but I wasn't expecting to make friends when I first started this band; even when the band was finally completed, I had no ideas about making friends. I figured it was just going to be a matter of practice, record, sell, play shows, world tour, win a shitload of awards, die happy. The "friends" thing could potentially throw a monkey wrench in all of my plans... I'm not exactly the most desirable person to be around, though I try to do good, and the trust issues and social anxiety don't exactly help. If I try to do that "friends" thing, and then it turns out my bandmates hate me, the whole band will fall apart. And I can't let that happen.
So, my question is: how exactly do I discourage my bandmates from trying to make friends with me, in such a way so that they don't end up walking out of the band? How do I survive this situation with the band intact?
Thanks so much to anyone who can help me... and even if you can't, thank you for reading anyway.
Keep shining, Killjoys.