i haven't posted for a while i'm sorry!!

XxstraightjacketxX's picture

i haven't posted for a while i'm sorry!!

sorry guys I haven't posted for a while on here... i'm posting now because i'm having a demon day (gorillaz were my favourite band at 1 point) and it's fucking stupid and I hate it. I feel so alone at school, even when i'm surrounded by my friends (all fucking 3 of them) and even people who I don't speak to in history, the loud boys who usually try to pull pranks on me noticed something was wrong. they asked me if I was okay because I realised I had my sleeve half pushed up (not enough to show my cuts thank god) and they could see my doodles. I had written "i'm not okay" over and over again circling my wrist without even noticing. I got told off for my doodles on my whiteboard in re too, even when I was clearly doing work not drawing. it was of a clown being hung while grinning insanely in a straightjacket, and his legs tied up and he was strapped up with belts too. it's the doodle that finds it's way most onto my whiteboard, and it freaks the hell outta people. i'm not good at art, in fact, i'm pretty crap, but you could see what it was, and apparently it was an "inappropriate drawing to have on a whiteboard in an re lesson" which is totally unfair, it helps me forget about the voices. the different voices in my head which whisper things in my ear. it's only ever one or 2 words like "weirdo" or "freak" , but they're nonstop, all day and all night. does anybody else gt these voices in their heads?? or am I just insane.... my "little" problem is getting worse again, my dad might notice again. I don't wanna repeat this so if anybody cares please just read this to get an understanding of what's wrong with me, I feel like my head is gonna explode with frustration and sadness!!!
ps,i'm gonna use my nickname I have from on my bus coz i'm always reading horror books, so frm now on, i'm gonna call myself kindle x

dammit metallica one is stuck in my head...

sos ~ Kindle x