I feel as if I'm trapped. Every day I wake up, fearing of going to school, but then I again it's the only way I can see my friends. School sucks, and all it is, is stressful to me. My teachers pound us with homework, tests, quizzes, and everything is so relentless. My parents are exremely strict with me and my grades, so they have high expectations for me. But lately I've been slacking off and my grades are going down because I can't handle all of this school work I get. This has never happened to me before and now I just feel so stressed out, and my asthma gets all funky when I get stressed. On top of the stress my parents constantly give me lectures about how I have to step up my game. I've been trying and even when I get the highest grades I can get they always give me this look and say "you can do better than that" when really I've been trying my best. It just gets so tiring...
Another thing that's been bugging me is how almost every weekend now, I get into arguments with my parents, basically about anything. And sometimes they say mean things that really hurt me, so I say something bitchy back and then for the rest of the weekend no one talks to each other. I feel bad because my poor little brother has to constantly hear us yelling at each other, and he's super sensitive so he gets upset from all of us arguing. So lately I've been isolating myself away from everyone in my house because now it comes to the point where I feel as if every time I speak, an argument is waiting to happen. I feel like such a fucking bitch and I constantly wonder what their lives would be like without me. I feel alone, I don't have many close friends to turn to because most of my other so-called "friends" just don't even talk to me any more, and they only come to me when they need something. I feel betrayed, and as if I have no one to save me, which is why I'm posting this blog because I know the MCRmy can help me. I'm just tired of feeling as if I have no one on my side, I'm tired of feeling as if no one cares, and I'm tired of feeling like such a big fuck-up. I've been getting so easily annoyed at people lately because my patience is short, and all of these feelings suck. I'm trapped in a world I can't escape, even though I want to. I need help, and someone to cheer me up.
Love you all,
~xElectricDancex
