I really should stop beating my self up so much...

Venom Viper's picture

I really should stop beating my self up so much...

i mean it. like i'm ALWAYS doing that! i mess up, get 1 point short of my goal on a test, say something wrong, or even make a wrong sideways glance, i'm immediately beating myself up over it. I'm past the point of bloody and motionless on the floor. Now i'm not talking bout physical, i'm talking about my self-pride/worth/etc. in my mind i'm just a crumpled up, bloody, forgotten, abused creature. i hate what i've become. Because it's gotten to the point where i don't want to get up and outta bed cuz i know the day is just going to be me beating myself up even more.

It's getting worse too. I just found out that the guy i like AND his snobby girlfriend from hell knows that i like him. She's makin hell while he's just trying to be nice. I also found out that he likes me back and so i feel an even BIGGER need to not let anything slip.

I'm digging a grave that i could get out of, if only i felt i had the strength and will-power to do so. I don't expect anyone to reply, and that's okay..i think. but i just needed to get this off my chest cuz i am on the verge of either throwing up, screaming, crying, or all three. I need help.

Venom V.