he is not looking for love (I never meant to be his friend for ever)

well... he is frozen looks like he feel nothing
that makes me hate myself cause I can't change the things
I'm jealusy cause girls wants to show him love and I can't do that thing cause I'M his best friend haha
He is shy and pretty. And I'm waisting my time with him, I can't see other boys I just.... can't... he is like the only one for me.
I lost him cause I couldn't answer when he wanted and answer by me so we stay like this
I never meant to be his friend for ever, since that day he still with his close heart
And I was confused