have you ever had one of those days?

Since today was the PSAT for underclassmen, I got late arrival. Thank God. But going to school was pretty much a waste of time. I just read all day, and actually finished Running With Scissors all today.

I still am trying to beat the psychic Elite Four guy on Pokemon Pearl. Ugh, I have no pokemon good for psychic types, so I keep on dying and crap. Good thing I saved right before him, so I can shut my DS down and not have to battle the other three again.

But yeah, today was not a good day. I don't know why, I just felt so depressed all day for no reason. Maybe it's because of the awful dream I had last night- I had taken the SAT and the Subject Tests I signed up for, and received my scores. I got an 1100 and 300s on all the subject tests. It was horrible; I was in complete panic because this meant I couldn't get into ANY of my schools and I would just fail at life. It was so realistic, too, I woke up feeling like such a failure until I realized that I only took the SAT on Saturday, I hadn't even taken the Subject tests, and there was no way they could have my score so quickly. Of course, I still was a failure at school... I got a horrible score on my last timed writing and my last Stats quiz came back a C. Inexplicably, since it was a partner quiz and I thought Eric and I had done pretty well.
Of course I have a test tomorrow, too. Great. AND another timed writing.

I just... am so sick of school. I just feel so trapped, and depressed, and like everything I do is futile. I just want it all to be over.. but I have to continue because of college.. I don't even really want to go to college, I just want to be out of Texas.

Two weeks ago I skipped school because I had a breakdown, and I drove around without any deadlines or pressures or worries and it was glorious. I wish every day could be like that.

I just want to curl into a ball and never wake up. I wish I could. But I have to wake up early tomorrow to get my early decision form signed.

I hate school. I hate everything.