Ok, so my best friend came up to me yesterday and was like "we can't be friends" and i asked "why.." and he totally came up with this B.S. excuse for not being my friend.. so what ever and so the next time i see him he like does this face he does every time i see him and i had to refrain from like turning around and walking with him like i always do, he knows i saw him but i tried to ignore him. so today i didn't see him all day but at lunch there he was. at our table, i talked to Megan the whole time and ignored him like he was me. after school i got Naruto #1 cuz i decided to start reading them, and he was in the library. he left a paper lying around so i walked up calmly and nonchalantly tossed the paper next to him and said "don't leave your stuff lying around" and walked away. he was upset but i really cared less.. yes i wanted to talk to him, but he treats me like shit and i don't deserve that. i never opened up to a guy until he came into my life and the second i really felt stable he grabbed the rug and tugged it from under me. i can't deal with that. i have something very wrong with me right now, i'm boiling right now and all he has been doing is making it worse, i haven't cried in so long, but i feel like i'm about to. i miss him, but i'm not letting in. i will talk to him at lunch but that's it. no more. he will be an acquaintance. it hurts too much to let people in. i can't do it. i feel like i'm going to start pushing people away again. but maybe it's for the best. maybe it's time for new friends. maybe it's time to be solitary. i need help. i can't do it anymore. i feel like i'm falling apart, i am falling apart.
