So lately i've been feeling so cold. I feel emotion less (I'm not sure i you understand what i'm saying?) Now I've been wanting to tell my friends about the way i feel but i feel like i can't. Like i want to tell my boyfriend about this but ever since we've been together i feel like i can't. Cause like before i would tell him if i was down in the dumps and he would try to help me out or he would tell I'm here for you, you can tell me if you want. Well this was when we were just friends. And yeah he still tells me that but i don't know it just feel the same. Before i felt like i could tell him things and i could care less about what he actually thought about me but i feel like now i do care what he thinks. Three month ago (when we were in school) i would come to class and he notice that i was sad, now that day i was sad but i wasn't sure why. I think i was just depress. So he told me what was wrong and he try to get words out of my mouth but i just push him away. That day i actually felt like crying but i didn't want him to see that way. (By this time we were together already)But right now i feel really depress, I think it might be the death of my uncle. I haven't really expect the fact that his gone and i really haven't let my feeling show. Cause i think that i have to stay strong, for the family but being strong isn't easy. Right now i just feel like running to my boyfriends arm and crying. But like i said i don't want him to see me crying, he has enough to deal with and i don't want him to worry about me too. The worst part to me is that i might push him away more now. I haven't seen him since we got out of school and i'm hoping he still feels the same way about me like he did before. I'm so use to hiding my feelings and just putting them in a bottle but now i feel like that bottle is about to explode :/ I miss my bf he has a big impact in my life. When i'm with him i don't feel sad, i feel like i'm full of joy. But maybe that's just it maybe i just miss him a lot. Well i only have to wait one more until i get to see him again (: I still can't believe we're together and how happy me makes me. I Love my Baby<3 5/6/11♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
