...I'd like to share my story. which i don't do often, so read it now or forever hold your peace. SO. It all started in sixth grade when the bullying started. I was the freaking imature still-stuck-in-fifth-grade kinda person. and i was getting bullied for it. I was also the only African-American who wasn't ghetto as fuck in the school. so i also got bullied for that (and i still do). i desperatly wanted to be like the other black kids, but that would mean i had to lose my friends. i didn't care. i just wanted to fit in. and i tried so fucking hard, but it only got worse. But at that point in time, i had started listening to rock music. So, on the radio, i heard 'Welcome to the Black Parade" and thought that song sucked. i hated it when they played it, but slowly, it grew on me. Eventually i loved the song to death (see what i did there? X3) and looked up some of their songs. Since i was a newbie rocker, they stuff scared the shit outta me. but i did like Dead!, Mama, and Welcome to the Black Parade. It wasn't until a year later that i truly became a fan. Welcome to the Black Parade had told me to not be sorry for who i was. and so i started to be me, without wanting to be anyone else. I slowly started maturing. But i still was getting bullied. Then Danger Days came out and Na Na Na told me to fuck other people opinons (and a picture of Gerard saying to fuck other people's opinions about yourself). i finally became the person i am today, getting through bullying with the help of MCR. But them in 8th grade, i fell into a horrible depression. i now know it was caused by my schitzophrinia. but i had my suicide note written and everything. then when school ended, i had planned to OD on pain killers. Luckily, i missed the bus. I was listening to these songs in this order: Na Na Na, which convinced me tojust hold on a little longer, that it's death or victory, and i wanted victory, Famous Last Words, which told me to not be afraid, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm Not Okay (I Promise), which told me it was okay to not be okay. So i went home and lived. This depression had been going on for a year, along with this voice in my head trying to get me to die. I decided to watch LOTMS with my mom so she'd stop hating on them. it was when Gerard had screamed, "I DON"T CARE WHO THE FUCK IT IS, JUST TAlK TO SOMEONE!" so i decided to tell my best friend Rachael and Alexis, who told me to tell our most trusted teacher, Mr. Bolduc (i now call him Mr. Vinny), and i ended up in guidence and they called my mom and told them about what was happening, and i ended up in Four Winds. Basically, i would've been dead if it weren't for MCR. I also fell into another depression about a week after i got out of the hospital. This time, it was Save Yourself, I'll Hold them Back who told me i was strong, but i still ended up going back to Four Winds. And thus is the end on my story. I am alive today and am on meds for schitzophrinia and depression. I am still learning to love myself, but i thankfully am not depressed or suicidal. And it feels nice. (thanks for reading if you did :3)
xoxo
-Splash Bubblez
