im sorry guys,i just reallly need to rant. i hate how my best friend,the person who's been with me for 9 years,who has seen me in the worst state ever,is slowly drifting away from me,she spends all her time with her boyfriend,always talking about how they tickle and kiss,and it tears my hear apart that she doesnt see my mind is slowly unraveling to this horrible bipolar mess,like yesterday she was talking about how last weekend she got drunk was almost had sex with her boyfriend,i hate how she doesnt see that it makes me mad to see her that way,she told me she would never do that,so i got a boyfriend,but hes so distant,like we're not even together,and he doesnt even talk to me,none of my friends see the mess im becoming,none of them ask if im okay,or if i need a hug,or i just need help,they all just ignore me,ive become so alone,that at lunch,i will sit alone and talk to myself,i only have one person who cares about me,but he doesnt see it,sometimes i sit in my room,and ill talk to "The Rev"(avenged sevenfold drummer,i idolized,but died sadly),my mom doesnt see it either,she works to late to ever talk to me,and on the weekends she leaves,my dad doesnt talk to me anymore,like i dont exsist.sleep is torture,i get nightmares and shaky,or get sick,sleep is painful and scary now,so when im alone i cant even dream anymore,not that i had many dreams.
p.s.,because i got so alone,i resorted to a new fandom: homestuck,it dominates my life,and ill sometimes have nightmares about it,all i have is homestuck,adventure time,creepypasta,and music to keep me alive,i dont even have my sanity anymore,and i think i need a therapst
