This song really describes my current relationship... wow

Singer Not a Dancer's picture

This song really describes my current relationship... wow

I dunno... it's just. I love him (or maybe not?). Maybe I like him... but I just can't seem to express my feelings toward him. I don't like kissing him. Kissing felt gross, and holding hands is just a no-no. He's told me that he's cried because I don't like to do those things with him and I just... I don't like holding hands and such. I don't even know why. I don't want to spend time with him alone... I'd rather spend time hanging just like we would as friends or if we could hang with some of our friends, I'd like that more, too. I wonder if I don't actually like him. Maybe I'm just imaging it because he worries about me and has liked me since seventh grade (we're going into ninth grade).

At the moment, we are secretly dating. On our first day of high school, I'm allowed to date. But I've been thinking... maybe I don't want a relationship(?) I just- I just can't. Do I like him? Is it all in my head? How do I tell him this. Not to mention I've been thinking of someone else lately (not as a boyfriend... I think) I just don't know my feelings. I can't tell if I like any-who-what anymore. I just can't tell. Should I break it off with him? I've already done it once because he kept getting jealous (because I get close and personal with my friends more than him)

I don't understand. I'm closer to my friends than with him, my boyfriend. He's so concerned for me, but I feel like I'm just worrying him, and I don't want to tell him anything. Not to mention that I currently lost my best friend... it's hard, and I don't know what to do.

Do you guys have any advice? I'm really just lost in my feelings and thoughts.

~Singer Not a Dancer~