I'm at a crossroads here... should I summon a crossroads demon for advice?

Singer Not a Dancer's picture

I'm at a crossroads here... should I summon a crossroads demon for advice?

The title is a Supernatural reference, so if you watch Supernatural, you get it (if you're far enough in anyway).

Anywho, to the place between a rock and hard place of which I'm currently at... I really drifting away from those close to me. I've also been thinking about my motives and myself, and really- why did I do that? Thinking can only lead to bad things. I asked my parents for counseling... mistake. I can't really do anything until I'm out of this house... And the boy I like- don't even get me started! I like him, I really do, but... I also don't like him at the same time. Relationships are a lot like religion to me. Oh- I forgot to mention that I did say yes to being his girlfriend. But back to the relationship/religion simile... Religion- something hard for me to believe in. There's no proof in anything... a lot like a relationship to me. It's mostly based on faith. And unfortunately, I don't have much of it. I don't want to end things because he's been waiting a year! And he really likes me, and I reciprocate the feelings, but I don't feel like those feelings are a part of me... It's like I'm detached from everything. My closest friends are like strangers, and those that I was once close with are close to me again... but only for a limited time because of the new school schedule. And the one person I feel like I can trust is one not liked by many others and he likes my sister but he's been doing weird things around me and I was never really close to him before and... I just don't know anymore. My life is a lie. There's no point in anything! I read and write to get out of my head an into someone else's and no one seems to understand that and if they do they don't care! And this is just a blurb and hopefully no one will read this, and you probably will only skim because it's just one giant poo!

~Singer Not a Dancer~