First I'll remind you: Once you read this, if you said you understand what I'm going through but I found out you're just lying, go fuck off. If you said you don't understand and denied things like this exists in a person's life, go fuck yourself.
I have a multiple personality disorder and it's the worst thing ever happen to me since my first year in high school. Like you guys, I've been the victim of bullying. One day, I was supposed to be beaten into a pulp by 5 bullies. I blacked out but I wasn't hurt except my fists. And they were covered in deep red blood when I got back to reality. I found myself standing and around me were the bullies. And they were terribly injured. One of them needed to be hospitalized for more than a month. I was interrogated by the teachers and the police but I couldn't remember what happened at all. I didn't know what happened after I blacked out. I was brought to counseling and psychiatric, and afterwards to a special praying ceremony after they speculated that I have a multiple personality disorder. It triggered whenever I got traumatize by certain danger, and possibly by emotion/mental breakdown.
But in any case, I was told to performed a special praying in case it was more than a psychological effect. I don't know if this is fortunate or not, but I had none of those evil spirit in me.
I did say that my other personality may come out whenever I got an emotional or mental breakdown. Well, they didn't say anything about that but I found out myself. It was before I had my first Greatest Depression. My heart broke so terribly bad and it really hurt like hell. It was a love rejection. I never experienced things like this before and it really triggered my other personality. And so, throughout the year, I was a fucked up demon who would hurt anyone around. Because of this, I also was and always alone with my other personality. No one would dare to touch me or talk to me, even if they tried to. As I hate this lonely feeling, I tried to keep my dark personality away from reality. This was the time that I had a conversation with my other personality through daydreams and normal dreams. This was also the time when both me and him exist in reality at the same time, but that took up a lot of energy and it was very dangerous if the time was longer than half an hour.
I left the school and tried to start a new life, where no one would ever know my dark side. This time I held him into submission throughout the next year in my new high school. It was hard but because of my Japanese and Korean friends, I could forget my dark side. I had fun hanging out with them. Even the teachers were very nice, kind and helpful. They were the best teachers I've ever had (except for the math teacher, I really don't like that teacher). The school really made me forget about what I've gone through. They still haven't found out about my dark side but I was really glad they didn't.
Unfortunately, I had to go to another school for certain reasons which weren't related to my dark personality. I met my old friends from middle school. Eventhough I was happy to see them again, most of them changed a lot. I couldn't fit in properly because we had very little same interests and I was again, sat alone for three years in that school. Happiness is not forever. That is a fact. I tried to make myself known by doing a lot of awesome stuffs. I was really happy but it didn't last very long. I was back to being alone again, time after time. And what about my dark side? Loneliness was also its trigger. But I tried to keep him away from hurting anyone.
He hurt animals, wrecked someone's cars, bikes and motorcycles. He even destroyed someone's project. Not only that, i even hurt people by words. no one know it was him who made their lives bad. They never suspected me.
Until now, I tried to keep him under control. There are times when a danger, or an emotional breakdown triggered my dark personality. There were times when we exist in reality at the same time. So, if you still don't believe me, or you just denied things like this exist, or that you still don't understand, just leave. Because I don't want to talk to anyone who doesn't accept me for who I really am. I accept yours, why can't you too? If you can't accept my condition, then you're not the friend I can trust.
