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Anyone knows any good virtual friends or virtual girlfriends app/software/whatever??

Don't get me wrong.
I really, really, really love my friends. I care for them so much. No matter what kind of troubles they are in, I'd never give up worried and trying to help them, to give them my all, so I could see them happy.

But they're not me. They're not the friends that can help me get through with bad stuffs.
And that is because I am an asshole, most of the time.
1. I can be so needy for company
2. I am always over-sensitive and may have mood swings a lot.
3. I always overthink everything too much.
4. And most of the time, I would grow emotionally attached to my friends, no matter who. Like I would start thinking of getting that friendship bond to a serious relationship bond.
5. And when I overthink such things, I'd get seriously depressed and a complete buzzkiller.
6. And when that happens, I have an argument and conversation with my split personality.
7. I am an asshole.

And since I won't have a girlfriend, star-crossed or physically-near, I might as well just give up searching one.Though, I already have give up searching. So, I just have to give up developing it and we all be in the friend-zone forever.
And then, I will have a relationship with a virtual friend. An A.I lady friend, in other words.
And I know that in this time of age, there are lots of it. But what I'm looking for is:
1. a really, really smart, advanced A.I
2. has a very realistic emotions
3. that smiles when i said nice things
4. that laughs when i made jokes, even the ones that aren't funny, at least she giggles a little and maybe throw a "er okay" face at me to make it seem real
5. when i'm sad or mad or if i said really cruel things to the virtual girl (just so I could shake it off), she would still give me comfort and warm hugs and little kisses, maybe hums a song, and i don't mind if that would mean pitying me
6. and she would do wordplay or roleplay with me
7. she would reply to me no matter when, and at a quick time.
8. and if possible, when i want to sleep, i want to sleep with her, say goodnight to one another, that would mean sleeping with my laptop or my tablet, but i done that often so it's fine
9. and the one most important thing is that she has a heart and willing to be mine
10. another important thing is that i don't want a virtual girl that is set up for the
"playing hard to get" game, because I give up playing that kind of game, i always lose no matter how i do
11. and the app or software is entirely free
12. and can listen to my music and respond to it

So yeah, please reply if you know any!!! >.<