I don't know what I want to do anymore....

Second chance animal's picture

I don't know what I want to do anymore....

I don't know what to do with my life anymore. For the past five years I've wanted to be an equine vet an now I just can't see myself doing that anymore. Mainly because I've been having attention problems and right now college seems impossible. I'm only a freshman and my mom keeps telling me not to worry about it but I overthink everything.
And lately I've been thinking about how I want to be a singer. I mean I wanted to be a singer when I was really young but I think I sort of thought it was never gonna happen so I gave up on it but now I keep seeing myself up on a stage in front of a huge crowd singing and I don't know maybe I'm being crazy but I really want to sing. I love songwriting and singing.
I told my mom but she keeps saying that there are a lot of good singers who never make it big and that it's a lot of work.
I don't even know if I'm a good singer. I mean I'm trying to get my mom to get a singing instructor or whatever they're called to see if I can actually sing or not. I mean I also really want to learn guitar but my mom says lessons cost a lot and I don't think she really wants to be a singer because she doesn't really think I'd make it.
My dad doesn't even know I'm thinking about it because he's busy telling me to look at colleges where I can take my horse. And he's not exactly the kind of dad who would be happy with anything I wanted to do.
I just feel like I want to do something important with my life. I mean as a vet I wouldn't have much impact on anyone. Whereas if I was a well known singer I could make an impact. I could tell people about stuff and they would listen and I could help people who are depressed and only have music to turn to.
I really want to be a singer but I don't know if it'll work out or not. If I can't be a singer have no idea what I'll do because I can't see myself as anything else anymore.

~NightHawk